Review Runs

Final Fantasy XIV
Star Trek Online

Final Fantasy XIV

It took a while, and it has some flaws, but this is truly a fantastic MMO. Easily one of the best out there. Most classes don’t get good until later on, the dungeons take until Stormblood to really improve, the quests never get better… but the story ranges from good to excellent, and the core tenants of dungeons and raids are some of the best in the business. And it has a lengthy and involved trial for anyone wishing to partake. Hugely recommended.
Total Story Score: +466
Total Gameplay Score: +122
Golden Number: 437.35
Cheats: No (My friends are my power!)
Total Play Time: 54 Days // 475.94 Hours
Time Reviewed: 4-16-2022

Spoiler Pluses and Minuses +

Story Positives:

The storytelling tool of the Echo and what it allows us to see and perceive
The initial Limsa Lominsa arc stumbles a bit, but the down to earth storytelling, the gradual escalation from disgruntled to malicious to beast tribes, is quite well done
The Ul’dah city-state arc is easily the best of the three, with character introductions, ideas, and tons of world building…
…easily earning a second positive
Camerawork in cutscenes is actually quite good
The localization in the game is spot on…
…even with regards to adding in dialects and variances based on region
There is a fairly large amount of gameplay/story integration going on
The visual storytelling of the Noscea area
World building all over the place in Limsa, with the new civilization and attempts at reform and resistance thereto and the economics and structure of it
The visual storytelling of the Black Shroud, regarding the elementals, the tree, the people who maintain it, the casual anti-outsider mentality, and how precarious the area is to live in
The core theme, even early on, of being the inspiration to help others find their better selves
The Unending Journey journal and the ability to rewatch essentially every cutscene in the game you’ve already seen is a great way to catch up on things
The ARR opening cinematic of the destruction at Cartenaux and the Calamity of Dalamud is a very, very well done cutscene
Tempering. We get our first insight into it with Ifrit, and it is exactly as horrible as it should be
World building exposition of the three Grand Companies
The entire Coerthas arc is legit, noticeably better written and constructed narratively than every single quest before it (even having legitimate reasons to be embroiled in local affairs rather than excuses)
A second positive for the Coerthas arc. Tightly written, internally consistent, and well characterized
The big scene where the Ultima Weapon is unveiled after the battle with Garuda is, honestly, the first truly good in-game scene in the game
Edda’s story is a bit too tragic… but it’s well told, and weaves in and out of our story periodically, and ultimately it’s better than it is not
Visual storytelling of the third Coil of Bahamut
Tataru is a delight even in ARR
Thancred, for how relatively little screen time he gets, is pretty awesome…
…as is Y’Shtola
Acknowledging the support network under adventurers, aka consequence storytelling
Sylphs (and writing). They’re adorable, even outside of their daily
Foreshadowing (primals, ala mhigans, Garlean power struggle, Ishgard, etc.)
The Coils of Bahamut. It takes a while to get there (hence only one positive), but when it does it hits pretty well, and is arguably more MSQ than the MSQ was
A special positive for the final moments of Cartenaeu, awesomely presented and executed cutscene… and weirdly well earned, while simultaneously being a successful one-winged-angel moment
G’raha’s final farewell as the Eternal Wind plays really is just… feels
Periodic world building in the La Noscea side quests, and some cool individual side stories
The Thanalan quests were overall better story wise; while more contained, they were usually better focused on character moments or world building
The Coerthas side quests were really quite good…
…including several nice bits of world building and some great character arcs
The Hildibrand animation, storyboarding, and camerawork are astonishingly good, especially with regards to choreography…
…earning a second positive
The Botanist arc does a good job of showcasing a pacifist tormented by the ethics of civilian contribution to conflict
The entire Fishing arc is probably one of the funnier ones in ARR, but the quality of the dialogue is what really makes it shine
The Armorer 1-50 quest wasn’t super great, but it was an interesting contrast of two differing mentalities and a nice showcase of an Idiot Sith
The Weaver 1-50 quest was surprisingly sentimental and personal, being almost entirely about the budding relationship between the miner and the princess
The Goldsmith 1-50 quest was surprisingly enjoyable given how obvious its plot was, but it had some nice moments and Rorotan was legit
The Leatherworker 1-50 quest had some hiccups but a rather memorable guildmaster, and a nice story arc about quality vs. speed
The Alchemist 1-50 quest was interesting in how it seemed terrifying at first and veered right into legitimately sweet and sentimental
Culinarian 1-50 is nicely constructed and has some good worldbuilding, but also some weirdly well done descriptions of the food
The Kobold beast tribe has a nice, surprisingly touching, and well told story arc
The Sahagin beast tribe has a surprisingly well written character in Novv
The conclusive Beast Tribe collective quest at the end of the dailies is quite well done, with good cutscenes and touching moments… and a few moments of awesome to boot…
…earning a second positive
The Gladiator 1-30 quest was… weirdly good. Enjoyable characters which complexities to them, a good structure, good cinematography, it was…
…worthy of a second positive
The dialogue and intrigue of the Rogue 1-30 quests are legit, despite how hard they are to read at times…
…and some really great storytelling and cutscenes
The Pugilist 1-30 is way better than I remember, with good characters and it mostly being about us helping the guild lead be a better pugilist…
…earning a second positive for general quality and cutscenes (the youth as he punched!)
The Thaumaturge 1-30 story had some hiccups, but I enjoyed the world building and examination of voidsent, aether, and magedom in general
The Conjurer 1-30 quest wasn’t super amazing, but the story of Sylphie and her discovery of conjury, as well as the world building of the elements, is good stuff
DRG 30-50 is weirdly good, with lots of good world building (if bad exposition) and surprisingly good cutscenes…
…earning a second positive
WAR 30-50 is simple but effective, a nice zoomed in character piece with some neat worldbuilding about how Warriors function
Scholar 30-50 has some great world building and some neat, heart-warming scenes to it
Despite other issues, the Ninja 30-50 has some good camerawork, animation, and some good moments
The 2.1 and 2.2 Doman Refugee Crisis arc is great stuff
The initial developments of the new Grand Company is a great arc, with good cutscenes
A special continuity plus bonus for the 2.3 arc and how it acknowledges tons and tons of small but neat little points of continuity
Aymeric is awesome in literally his very first scene. He is smart, kind, pragmatic, and generally awesome
Consequence storytelling (especially with Garlemald)
Moenbryda is well voice acted and, honestly, a delight despite her relatively small amount of camera presence
Haurchefant is just kind of awesome.. Consistently, even in ARR…
…which is really saying something
Raubahn’s killing of Teledji is, honestly, the best part of the entire banquet
Alphinaud has his irritations (many, in fact) but you can really see the surface-level boy who really does not understand what he’s doing and is in way over his head
Merlwyb is a weirdly good character across ARR
The Sultana only has a few scenes but they’re critical and she herself is a very sympathetic, interesting character
Riol is actually pretty legit, and honestly I wish he got more screen time
Ditto for Hoary Boulder and Coultinet
ARR does a decent job of remaining internally consistent and having good internal continuity
Aggregate: Visual storytelling of Sastasha // The overall story arc of Haukke Manor, the murder mystery, and the… attempt at tone // While not much, Brayflox Hard is a neat and amusing little excursion
Aggregate: The final cutscene in Wanderer’s Palace (hard) is hilarious // There is one, solitary good quest in the Gridanian areas, and it’s actually quite touching (about the young gentleman and his sister) // The Miner arc has some decent world building in the background
Aggregate: There’s a bit of decent world building in the Arcanist chain, and the main character is alright // The decent character bits and good scenes really helped with the BLM 30-50 quests
The Heavensward opening cinematic is, as usual, pretty good
Count Edmont de Fortemp is yet another example of a reasonable authority figure, who in his very first scene is awesome enough to warrant a positive
Haurchefant continues his awesome streak
Visual storytelling of Ishgard (the city)
Artoirel is an interesting, fleshed out character who has a quick and interesting arc even in his initial presentation
The initial introduction to Thordan and the trial by combat sequence
The plot-point of cold, efficient pragmatism of Estinien and us going out to try and treat with Iceheart and, should we fail, at least delay their attack on behalf of Ishgard
The story sequencing of the early arc is well constructed. As we learn more, our plans shift, and as our plans shift, we go to new areas, learn new things, and plans shift again
Visual storytelling of the Dravanian Forelands
The big reveal of the nature of Primals is a good scene in general, but even more so…
…the very plot point of what a Primal actually is is a fascinating concept that makes for some great storytelling and will lead to great stuff down the line
The localization continues to be on point…
…even to the point of being better than before, especially with regards to…
…the dialogue being just fantastic across the board.
Dialogue mk. 2
Dialogue mk. 3
Lolorito’s plan (retcon or no) is a good one, neatly written, and ties up a lot of threads
Further, this entire arc (while badly positioned) is a great example of both external continuity and consequence storytelling and, despite the problems with its timing, deserves special mention for its quality
The overall plot has a wonderful layers upon layers of context style to it
The Echo remains a great storytelling tool…
…and speaking of which, the cutscene of the past shortly after the initial battle with Nidhogg is well directed, acted, and written
Honestly, Haurchefant’s scene where he just sorta… goes along with it when he sees us, Estinien, aaand Ysayle is just kind of awesome (good animation, very in character for him)
Core theme of the cycle of vengeance
The ‘we’ve got Aymeric’s back’ scene is awesome
Well written Star Destroyer storytelling
The Vault does some absolutely wonderful visual storytelling with its music, trash design, and visuals… and the fact that we’re fighting ‘bosses’ (aka primals) as regular bosses
For all the nonsense about the event itself, Count Fortemp just breaking down at the loss of his son hits to this day
There is a lovely symmetry to Aymeric and his relationship to his father… and Haurchefant and his relationship to his. Both illegitimate children, both risen on their own two feet, and both dealt with in completely disparate ways
Alphinaud is wonderful as usual
Alphinaud’s voice actor is great
Alphinaud’s character arc is fantastic, and really shows his growth as a character
Tataru continues to be an excellent character despite her limited screen time
The visual storytelling and contrast of the Churning Mists as well as Hraesvalgr and Nidhogg’s lairs
Ysale is, as usual, awesome…
…with good voice acting…
…and a great character arc
Estinien, too, is a triple bonus for being a great, complex character..
…but also well acted…
…and well arced
The connecting character threads between Estinien and Alphinaud
Raubahn finally comes into his own as a character, helped by his actor
Haldrath (the first Azure Dragoon) has precious little screen time but is awesome for it
Hilda, too, steals the scene every time she’s in it
Visual storytelling of the Dravanian Hinterlands
Matoya! Cantankerous, helpful, and well acted
Ysayle’s sacrifice, by contrast to some earlier ones, is very well done. Good cinematography, good directing, and it sticks
Visual storytelling of Azys Lla
Earning Midgardsormr’s respect and being granted his mount is a pretty awesome moment
The world building of the Aetherochemical Research Facility and just how bleh the Allagans really were
The Thordan fight was pretty legit from a storytelling perspective. The attacks from the previous knight fights, the FFVII reference, but best of all the final phase after his ultimate attack where he can’t even bring himself to do anything but flail helplessly against the party
The Alexander 12 fight is awesome narratively, especially with the portals being how we survived the cutscene prior to the fight
The time travel of the entire Alexander chain is actually quite tightly written, well foreshadowed, and well executed
Thordan’s overall plan is actually pretty horrifying, but the way it’s set up and the way he out-plays the Ascians is delightful
Lucia remains awesome pretty much throughout HW
Krile has so much character in so little time, I love it
Yet more foreshadowing (especially in the Warring Triad)
They actually subvert the usual hostage crap in the Weeping City, and actually make a good scene of it regardless
Stone Vigil 2 (Dusk Vigil) has a wonderfully horrifying backstory to what happened in the wake of the Calamity
Leveva is just delightful all around
The Sharlayan worldbuilding and general intrigue of the AST 30-60 quests are pretty cool… with problems
MCH 30-50 has a good core theme, some decent characters, and a nice arc for multiple of them
MCH 50-60 continues the good trend of good characters, and really does its job in expounding on the problems facing Ishgard in the wake of the revolution
A goodly amount of internal continuity with the three mage states across the expansion
The NIN 50-60 is weirdly competent and well directed, with amusing characters and a proper showcasing of ourself
DRG 50-60 has some issues, but is earnest enough and skips over most pitfalls of its arc to be engaging
The DRK 30-50 quests did a great job of acknowledging a lot of internal continuity…
…and are just, really great quests in general…
…earning a second (or third) positive
DRK 50-60 quests do some good stuff in general, with a nice if horrifying story…
…and general levity and excellence in scenes from the Moogles
WVR 50-60 was actually really sweet, down-to-earth, mundane, and wholesome
GSM 50-60 was surprisingly good, a heartwarming tale of two lovers and making them matching music boxes, well paced and well showcased
CUL 50-60 was mostly noise until the finale, when it was delightfully hysterical
LTW 50-60 is actually pretty well done, with solid character arcs, weaving through backstory of the setting, while advancing alongside the main quest
Aggregate: The Ascian lore of SUM 50-60 was pretty neat // ALC 50-60 did some neat things with the Allagans and clones, and the whodunnit was a nice direction to take it // CRP 50-60 had some nice moments with the son and father
Kal Myhk is adorable, and we learn a decent amount of dragon society (and biology!) while helping him, his brother, and his mother (Dragons follow the natural order)
Azys Lla’s side quests are surprisingly amusing while remaining absolutely horrifying insights into Allagan society
Hildibrand, as usual, has some great animation and camerawork
Hildibrand also has some surprisingly good character beats with Vivi and Cyr
The Scholasticate’s early quests are very well written internal politics
The Scholasticate’s quests themes of the severe and terrible inequality Isghard has shown, done in true in-person detail, are just… wow
Scholasticate (again) has some good general story construction and characters
Fractal Continuum has some wonderful, horrible Allagan lore in the ‘museum’ format
Good structure of the MSQ, both in when the big events hit, and in how much time is attended to the consequences
The return of Thancred cutscene is well acted and very well choreographed, despite its issues
Aymeric really is one of my favorite characters in the entire game…
…not only for his solidarity and genuineness but also his intellect and leadership skill…
…and finally his fantastic presentation and voice actor
The finale of 3.1 is convenient, but well constructed and very well serves the narrative, both in service of how Ishgard is dealing with things, Aymeric’s reactions thereto, and the impacts it will have furthermore
Matoya is a delightfully presented and constructed character
As much as I personally dislike the scene, the failed peace conference scene is well constructed and does a good job of showcasing the varying mentalities that lead to such terrorism and other such issues
The Final Steps of Faith cutscene is brilliant in so many ways I don’t know where to begin. The battle, the choreography and cinematography, the significance…
…but through it all, just us… walking….
…Star Destroyer
And yes, another positive for the outro, for being exactly as tear-jerking and powerful as it should be… with Ysayle and Haurchefaunt’s aid
A rare story positive for the Nidhogg raid fight. It’s literally the thematic core of the entire expansion built into the fight; letting go of the past, moving forwards, cycles of vengeance
The victory lap of the End of the Dragonsong War is pretty legit, with a lot of cool ‘what happened’ moments for a ton of characters
Ga Bu. He’s only there briefly, but he’s extraordinarily well utilized, and besides serves as a fantastic launchpoint for Alisae’s return to the party and the character arc she will have for some time
Ardbert’s big scene really does a lot in very little time, and the narrative beat of revealing his time right as the story has just followed a major arc about being willing to do anything for victory… and immediately before the Griffin’s foolish, foolish plan
Aggregate: An aggregate positive to Hildibrand for general humor and pacing // Honoroit is enjoyable, and pitiable, for the little screen time he gets // Emmanellain does get something of a story arc, brief though it may be
Ardbert’s voice actor is excellent even in this expansion
Count Edmont is a truly fantastic character, for much the same reasons Aymeric is…
…and stands as our adoptive father for good reason
The summoning, and Papalymo’s sacrifice
Thancred is, as usual, pretty legit
The Omega vs. Shinryu fight is not just fun spectacle, there’s actual design to how each side fights and how they compare and contrast each other
The recurrent usage of the NPCs and party members adding extra dialogue at most quests in the MSQ is a good storytelling tool
No-drama, logical consequence storytelling in the initial resistance groups of Ala Mhigo
World building throughout the early quests of what it’s like in occupied Ala Mhigo
Zenos second establishing scene does much more, better, with him
Doodad utilization is, finally, in
Substantially better usage of music in cutscenes
Visual storytelling of the Fringe
Tataru beautifully blackmailing the Ishgardian captain into helping us get to Doma
Kugane in all its splendor
Lyse kicking Gyodo was just kind of generally awesome (and well animated and cameraworked)
The verbal duel between Gosetsu and Yotsuyu is actually quite good, showing the depths of their familiarity with each other and using that to exposit
Visual storytelling and doodad utilization of Kugane
Yanxia’s thematic usage and portrayal of the consequence of the remainder oppressed is as gloomy and awful as it should be
The terrible, emotional, powerful scene where Yugiri and us successfully saving them only for the realization of how this doesn’t truly save them… is just as powerful as it should be
As much as I have severe issues with it, the scene where Zenos finally notices us is pretty legit
Isse is actually kind of awesome in general, a perfect personal viewpoint of oppression and a surprisingly human, well fleshed out person in general
For the first time in the game, we have a degree of visual continuity between zones (helped by the MSQ’s frequent ‘trips’ to the map)
Our little sidetrip to the Dotharl is nice in general, but what’s even better about it is how Gosetsu is fleshed out throughout
The entire Steppe arc is one of the better ones, despite being ‘side content’
Cirina is a delight for the presence she has
Tataru, similarly, is awesome up to and including the flight from Kugane
Hancock is weirdly engaging, moreso for his connection to Lolorito
Gosetsu continues his trend of excellence and general enjoyability
Yugiri is, in many ways, far more of a main character than Lyse is and does good stuff throughout
Alisaie gets some good character and screen time both
For all my complaints, I cannot dismiss Zenos’ voice actor
Alisaie’s voice actress
Gosetsu’s voice actor
Yugiri’s voice actress
Soroban is pretty awesome for how little screen time he has
Hien’s ponderings, and his conclusion; the flooding of Doma, says a lot about what kind of person (and leader) he really is
Gosetsu’s pre-battle scene and confession is a great character piece for him (helped by Alphinaud and Alisaie being adorable)
Good visual storytelling and significance of the Doma dungeon
Yotsuyu is horrible and evil, make no mistake… but she’s well acted, and there are decent layers to her and her horrible, horrible backstory
Kojin in general, especially culturally, are fascinating
The scene between Fordola and Zenos really is quite well constructed
As usual, Raubahn is excellent, arguably really coming into his own as both commander and leader of the Alliance
…and a second
Visual storytelling of The Lochs
Pipin remains an awesome character in general, and a good commander
The Ala Mhigo dungeon is a great capstone to the dungeon narratively
Zenos’ suicide and final cutscenes really do a great job of showcasing the character, and a surprisingly satisfying conclusion to his arc
Much as it pains me, Zenos does deserve a positive. The ruined, bored, genetically engineered freak
Omega is brilliantly horrifying in how detached and unconcerned it is about the horrifying things it does
Cid is pretty legit in the Omega line
The lonesome Omega logs segment before O12 is really just… awesome, and terrifying, and lends more ‘character’ to Omega, Midgardsormr, and the war than most anything else does
DRG 60-70 is nice but Orn Khai is just adorable
MCH 60-70 is a good tale of continuing to deal with the fallout of Heavensward, and some good character moments for Hilda
Four Lords, Soroban, Tataru… all good stuff…
…especially the flashback cutscenes
Fractal Continuum (Hard) continues the Allagan trend of expositing and background worldbuilding (the Ixal were built by Allagans!)
There is simple, wholesome, and down-to-earth storytelling in the Doman Reconstruction…
…wonderfully written and brilliantly human
The Echo of Delita, Orran, and Alma is actually really good. It says all it needs to, implies much more, and does a great amount in a short period of time
The WAR 60-70 quests are silly but… they’re legit charming, and got an actual laugh out of me
What can I say about the 60-70 DRK quests? They’re real, raw, brutal, and beautiful. Continuity, connectivity, consequence, the story weaves through our own as we face all we’ve been and lost, and in the end we are who we are… because we are.
A second…
…and a third positive earned thusly
The WHM 60-70 quest was a nice little personal story, with some good touches and good continuity
MNK 60-70 has some nice character moments and good backstory about the Mad King
RDM 50-60 has some decent stuff. Magic history, Ala Mhigan history, some continuity, and Arya
RDM 60-70 has good continuity and Arya continues to be adorkable!
SAM 50-60 is a straightforward samurai tale, but it’s not bad, and in fact hits its beats quite well
ALC 60-70 had great external continuity as well as a touching arc and general goodness throughout
Steppe culture is fascinating and well fleshed out in general
There’s some nice tidbits in the Steppes sidequests where we help people find themselves, especially a Dotharl rebelling against his name and Esugan (a cook) rebelling against his warrior brethren
GSM 60-70 is a nice bit of worldbuilding and consequence storytelling, being about methods of economic restoration for newly freed Ala Mhigo
CUL 60-70 continues the Culinarian trend of excellence by having a nice simple story about feeding refugees, and cultural drift
Arenvald is honestly just sort of amazing. A poor background and a good presence
Generally clever animation in cutscenes
The confrontation of, Echo of, and pain of Fordola’s (cutscene)
The surprisingly mature, dark, proper discussion of financial aid for Ala Mhigo
The big scene between Nanamo and Raubahn is just… all kinds of awesome. A great continuation and, arguably, conclusion of both of their arcs
Much as I absolutely despise the character, Asahi’s voice actor is legit… lots of tiny details and subtle nuances
Tsukuyomi fight…
…and the tragedy of Yotsuyu, the life that could have been
The hinge-point of the plot of Alphinaud going to Garlemald, the implications and foreshadowing thereof
As per usual, the usage of the Roleplay system as a storytelling tool is excellent
The Burn is just a wonderfully terrifying concept, it really is… it’s the first time we’ve really seen the actual impact of aether bleed
Fordola doesn’t get the screen time she deserves, for she is a fascinating and well done antagonist in her own right
The visual storytelling of The Burn (dungeon) is as fascinating and horrifying as it should be
Alphinaud continues his character arc and progression, and frankly just general character quality
Camerawork continues to be excellent throughout
The Burn (Savage)
The well-constructed political drama of the Alliance’s first true meeting as they discuss the Ascians and Garlemald…
…and the summoning of ‘the voice’ and the tension and suspense and mystery it adds to the proceedings
Alisae really has some good character moments in the final few patches
The scene which introduces Solus does so much and says so much and reveals a great deal about the lore and backstory of the world
The war council and parlay with Emperor Varis is interesting in hindsight, and surprisingly well presented (visual storytelling)
Foreshadowing! The front-loaded storytelling as of the 4.X patches is real
The Ghimlyt Dark and following conclusions are some awesome visual storytelling and war presentation
The down-to-earth personal stories of the Crystarium sidequests
Kholusia’s side quests do a good job of following through on the consequences of Eulmore and how normal citizenry are dealing with the fallout
The intro cinematic is the best they’ve had to-date, with symbolism, brick-laying, great visual storytelling, and…
…is just generally awesome
The opening intro does so much so well so fast
The visual storytelling of the eternal bright sky
The Crystarium is brilliant in its overall design, visual layout, and general presentation
The initial story arc of the Crystarium does so much, and builds up the world, and establishes many tiny plot threads
Music utilization for tone and atmosphere
The worldbuilding of Mord Souq and the very idea of ‘cracking the coinpurse’ and its connotations for requirements of interaction and citizenry
The very nature of Sin Eaters and the horror and obstacle they present
The beautiful visual storytelling of the wall of light in Amh Araeng… the macro
Tesleen. The conversion, the horror… the micro
Kholusia continues the world building quest construction of having to earn your way and insight into local function
Aaaand finally, Eulmore and its horrifying perversion of the ‘earn your way’ cultural norm of the survivors, and the classim it engenders
Eulmore deserves a second positive for the sheer nuance and layers that go into how messed up it is and how… resigned and despairing some of these people really are
Kai-Shirr and his weekly arc of renovating the Beehive and trying to turn it into a legitimate establishment with his friends is both wholesome and logical
Eulmore’s visual storytelling
The confrontation between Vauthry and Alphinaud is brilliant for many reasons, but really firmly showcasing a light on what Eulmore is and why is the best part
I have to give a purely subjective plus to this game for so powerfully, emotionally impacting me with its core, central theme… of idealism, both fulfilled… and crushed
Holminster Switch… the creature from the desert, Tesleen, and the horror of the village over-run
And the first night sky in a century
General world building of the Fae segment of the story
Watching the fae just… body the Eulmorians is just as immensely satisfying as it always is
Emet-Selch’s animation and motion capture
The initial confrontation between Emet-Selch and the party is brilliantly portrayed. Camerawork, voice acting, dialogue, foreshadowing…
World building of the Night’s Blessed, up to and including the service
Ardbert’s cutscene discussing himself, Seto, and ourselves
Ardbert’s cutscene discussing being adventurers, the mural… and how it all went
The cutscene of Vauthry v. Exarch is a brilliant one, not just a clash of ideologies but of surface vs. depth
For the irritation of the fake-out, Y’shtola’s return gives us some great characterization and moments for both Emet-Selch and Runar
The post Qitana Ravel scene is a hell of an exposition dump, but more than that, it is yet another wonderful character point for him, beautifully voiced
Ardbert opening up to us about why he adventured, and us sharing our concerns with him, is as always a good scene
Ardbert’s torment at having to watch the suffering die…
…followed immediately by the power of seeing us walking with the victors
Lyna’s lament in the wake of the battle
Thancred opening up and (finally) having a character arc in Trolley is pretty legit
For all the many, many other issues, the ‘final’ confrontation between Thancred and Ran’jit is an excellent bit of storytelling, primarily for Thancred and his arc moving forwards
Ryne is a delight throughout really, but serves a good purpose in the plot too; she’s the ‘outsider’ who can be and do what the others can’t
Ryne and Thancred’s interactions are good in general, but the dynamic between the two is something else
The Crystal Exarch remains a well constructed enigma; the shadow of a villain who never hesitates to aid and assist those in need
With precious few exceptions, the dialogue in Shadow in particular is exceptionally well constructed…
…easily earning…
…three positives
The incredible creepiness, build up to, and revelation… of Meol
The entire scene of Alphinaud speechifying to the Eulmorians, and their turnaround and assistance, is actually pretty awesome
Emet-Selch’s lowering of the mask as he speaks, for the first time, of Amaurot and the time of old to us… even mis-speaking for but a moment… as he lets his hope get the better of him
The overall cavalry moment of building the giant Talos is pretty wholesome and a good rejoinder of all the people you’ve aided thusfar
The final resting scene with the Crystal Exarch is brilliant in many ways
The brilliant visual storytelling of Mt. Gulg and the still-in-construction ‘new paradise’ he is building
The reveal of both G’raha Tia’s plan… and Emet-Selch’s interest in us
The entirety of Emet-Selch’s plan for cooperation, why, and wherefore
The plot structure of the expansion is interesting and very video-gamey, but works quite well for many purposes; World building, characters, party members, and the conclusion
Vauthry is a brilliantly constructed ‘villain’… a toddler that can speak, a base animal with precious little understanding of aught or all…
…helped by an absolutely fantastic voice actor…
…who, by himself, deserves a second positive
Surprise surprise, but Ardbert’s scene where he speaks of the past, the Warrior, and the people uniting
Let’s make this clear. Ardbert’s voice actor is absolutely phenomenal, doing nuance, layers, and gradients in spades…
…easily earning…
…a third positive
There’s a fantastic amount of Babylon 5 Effect going on with G’raha Tia throughout…
…second positive worthy
Feo Ul doesn’t have much screen time but they are quite awesome every time they grace the screen
Lyna is a weirdly good ‘guest character’, not a lot of screen time but good usage of most scenes, and good density of character
Alisae’s voice actress continues to kill it
There’s another great ‘connections between people’ scene as we are departing the Crystarium
Honestly the whole Bismark sequence was great
Lyna is an excellent supporting character, surprisingly multi-faceted
General voice acting positive
Uriangier really shines in this one, getting to show off his nuance, his care with the pixies, his care for Ryne, and the burden he bore…
…second positive territory
And a positive for his voice actor nailing it
The build up to and reveal of Amaurot is not just fantastic…
…but is the best bit of ‘characterization’ we ever see for the mastery of power Emet-Selch really has
The final send-off of the party right before the final dungeon is poetry, really
And call me a sop, but I have to give a separate plus for the feels as we talk to Ryne
Emet-Selch’s final rant at the party is honestly incredible…
…made even better by virtue of his truly fantastic voice actor, for which…
…he earns a full two positives
The visual storytelling of the Amaurot city is fantastic
The side quests of Amaurot do so much to flesh out the people and culture of the ancients
The Ancients in general are fascinating on almost every level
The storytelling in general of the Amaurot dungeon is insane, between the voice over, the visuals, the progression of enemy times…
…even the very map itself? I’m not sure I’ve seen better storytelling in a dungeon before…
…earning a third positive
The pre-final battle scene is poetry. You can tell Emet-Selch is holding back, still toying with us, still holding out that faint hope
And the way we array ourselves around and against him is fantastic, culminating in G’raha Tia summoning the other us’s (or however you interpret it)
The Dying Gasp… Hades.
Hades finally, finally no longer holding back, in his last desperate gasp that he just can’t help but hold onto, he unleashes his all against us…
…but somehow all of us, together, push back.
Remember us. Remember that we once lived.
The ending sequence in general is great. The swim, the people, Ardbert’s axe finally cleansed
Character positives for Ardbert
…x2
…x3
Character positives for Emet-Selch
…x2
…x3
The Bethric / Skip chain meanders a bit, but when it gets going it’s pretty heartwarming and has some good moments
The simple Lyna scene of her worrying about her ‘grandfather’ is lovely for many reasons
The revelation that the vision of the Final Days is a trigger of awakening one’s Echo, as a resultant of how much the Final Days caused literal planetary-wide, dimension-spanning PTSD, is kind of awesomely horrifying
Consequently, the cutscene revealing thusly is fantastic in its execution
Some good consequence storytelling in the restoration of Eulmore arc in 5.1
And it’s time to finally give the Chai’s their own positives, starting with Dulia…
…for general wholesomeness, complexity of character, and nuance
And of course two for Nuzz, for being a confident, competent, nervous, and suffering anxiety…
…and both being beautifully voice acted
The big speech scene in Eulmore is actually pretty legit, in framing, presentation, and the general moment of it
The scenes establishing and developing Elidibus do a great job of making him an interesting character despite the revelations about him being so relatively recent
While it does linger a bit, the Elidibus gauntlet quest is fantastic; It uses our journey, summarized, as a way to characterize him… or perhaps ‘it’
Elidibus is a properly written, brilliantly tragic… robot. A mind incapable of perceiving past its mission, something so far gone and so far lost so as to be diminished and, worst of all, is entirely self-aware of it… and further incapable of course correcting…
…easily earning a second positive
The entire ‘crystals and echoes’ quest
The Heroes’ Gauntlet is a great storytelling dungeon…
…most especially in how it carries us throughout the zones ventured thusfar, aided by those we’ve aided thusfar
G’raha Tia’s voice actor is fantastic
The animation, cinematography, and camerawork are just noticeably higher quality in 5.3
The overall theme of idealism, and what it does to us… good, bad, and in between
The overall theme of legacy, and what and how we pass on
The pacing and execution of the ‘breather’ episode in early 5.3… before things get bad
Alisae continues to be a fantastic character
Alphinaud joins his sister in being generally awesome
G’raha Tia is just kind of awesome in general… the earnestness, the counterpart to our inspiration…
…earning him another positive
Elidibus’ pre-battle cutscene is powerful in its tragedy, in the broken doll Elidibus has descended to
The Seat of Sacrifice boss fight has some wonderful storytelling throughout the fight
Elidibus’ final send-off is exactly as powerful, morose, and tragic as it should be
G’raha’s ‘send off’ is interesting, since it’s not actually a send off (he’s leaving with us after all), but it is instead the end of the ‘Crystal Exarch’ and the culmination of his quest
The final send-off quests in 5.3 are an excellent finale section in general but a few points particularly shine
…the Chais bidding farewell to Alphinaud and ourselves
…Seto getting to have his final moment with Ardbert
…and finally, the full Crystarium sending us off, with Lyna in tears at the ‘loss’ of her grandfather
Big plus for the ‘ending’ scene at the end of 5.3. It is a WoW level cutscene, in terms of quality, custom animation, and production values, in addition to the amazingness of the characters and how they all play off each other, especially G’raha…
…easily two positive range
“What’s the password?” (dramatic flourishing) PASSWORD!
The cure for Ga Bu scene is honestly heartwarming and smile inducing
Bonus consequence storytelling positive for the cure being… exactly what it should be; A first step, moving from 0% curable up to 1% curable, which is both huge and minor at the same time
So this may sound weird but the Relict Matoya is actually really good storywise… the visuals, music, presentation, cuteness factor, all do a great job of making it more enjoyable than it would otherwise be…
…earning a second positive
G’raha being adorably adorkable as he gets to be an ‘adventurer’ (read: kiddo) is just precious
Merlwyb’s speech to the Executioners is pretty legit, a bit more flowery and a bit more charismatic, but it’s core concept remains true; Evolve or die
The entire 5.4 arc does exactly what it needs to in terms of pacing; it’s a breather episode. The stakes aren’t gone, nor unimportant, but they are definitely lower, and that’s exactly what it should be in the wake of Hades and Elidibus
The confrontation between Gaius and Valens is actually pretty legit…
…and a special bonus for Valens’ death
Gaius himself is actually really quite good in the entire arc, weirdly enough, and gets some much needed character development and backstory
This is further aided by both Severa and Valdeaulin, both victims of his, who share their stories as they take their positions as his allies
Eden terraforming
Thancred and Urianger being dads for Ryne
Ryne wanting to connect with Gaia
Gaia’s memory issues and the utilization thereof as a narrative tool
E12 bridge
E12 outro
Gaia
Ryne and Gaia
The story of the heretic returned home and the reception he received from family and former neighbors
Ehll Tou is just adorable, and the alien mentality of being fascinated by ‘crafting’ is a neat world building touch
The orphanage chain of the Firmament is a very good, very ground-floor story about the orphanage
The Restoration itself is just good stuff all around…
…with good Internal Continuity…
…and generally heartwarming, well constructed characters
The smithing Mean quest is actually quite nice, it’s got good tone, good light hearted bits, and a nice heartwarming thing at the end
The fishing Mean quest is, similarly, pretty legit
The final Mean arc is simple, but a nice personal capstone to a series of nice, personal stories
The characterization and moments for Renda-Rae in the ranged physical quest are pretty nice
The magical dps role quest is actually pretty legit. It takes a moment to get going, but once it does it turns into a surprisingly powerful tragedy, yet retains positivity as Taynor now gets a chance at a real life after the Flood
The Bozja series giving us some good insight into Cid as well as the events surrounding Dalamud
And has some great cutscene construction regardless
Mikoto remains amusing and enjoyable
Misija has a weirdly large amount of characterization for someone they keep wanting to portray as ‘just evil’
The Mikoto and Misija scene is a great example of Mikoto’s character and how she can out-think so much around her, while being a fascinating bit of world building
The healer’s role quest as usual has some good Warriors of Light build up and storytelling…
…and deserves a bonus positive for Giott being generally delightful
Lilja is, in general, generally awesome
The tragedy of the tank role quest in general is good stuff
Granson himself is also pretty enjoyable and has a decent arc to himself
Cylva’s story is brief but powerful, a cute way to tie in 1.0 and a great cap to the Warriors of Light’s story
GNB 60-70 has some good character tidbits and background worldbuilding
RDM 80 is simple but nice, and a good capstone to Arya’s arc
PLD (GLD) 80 ties up the, uh, gladiator chain quite nicely and has some surprisingly good moments
WAR 80 was far more entertaining than it had any right to be
SCH 80 not only cured the Tonberries, but was adorable on several levels
SUM 80 has nothing to do with summoning, really, but has some good moments with Arenvald and Fordola
DRK 80 is the usual high quality stuff…
…but gets a second positive for the sheer continuity cavalcade as well as the interpretive last moments of who (or what) was really going on
Generally good level 80 quest continuity in WHM, NIN, MNK, DRG
The Void Quest is a good chunk of continuity, and lays some good bricks for future stories
The moment between Estinien, Alisae, and G’raha is just adorable
The entire arc of freeing Tiamat, and Estinian the dragon rider
Paglth’an really has some fantastic storytelling in its design and visuals, as the battle commences, aided by Estinien and Tiamat
The post-Paglth’an scene between Fordola, Alphinaud, and Estinien really bespeaks her broken idealism, and the wounded as they rail at one another
Fourchenault’s big jackass reveal scene, his disownment of his kids, is quite well acted and presented despite himself
Arenvald’s crippling, Alphinaud’s reaction, and the perfect capstone of legacy
Dialogue positive…
…mk 2…
…mk 3…
Persistent power progression in lore across the expansions
RPR 70-80 has some memorable characters and moments
RPR 70-80 worldbuilding, especially for Garlemald and Garleans in general
General fidelity quality of opening cinematic
Sharlayan (the city) is brilliantly laid out and indicative of the coastal town motiff
The Three Frogs of Light
The first Forum scene does a lot pretty quickly and efficiently; Introduces a new character, establishes the Forum’s method of operation, hints at several things, and changes the stakes into a more personal venue
The initial sequence in Yedlihmad, with aether sickness and Estinien’s… unique mercantile sense
While… weird, the whole Great Work moment with Estinien was great
The simple yet effective continued development of Allag as horrible during Amon’s flashback
Thavnair is visually beautiful and perfectly encapsulates the island trade nation
The build up and reveal of Vrtra is actually pretty well executed; Not dragged out for fake drama, but laid out and fulfilled in short order
The ‘chilling with food and friends’ scene is really just fantastic. It’s light hearted, heartwarming, and a great breather moment…
…and very well voice acted, animated, and stylized
Montichaigne’s lesson and relevant info
The ‘everyone’s gathered’ scene is just kind of grin inducing
And frankly, the sheer cavalcade of continuity deserves a positive all in its own
The entire lead up to Garlemald’s battle is well constructed and has some good character moments
Cold of Garlemald and its usage as a constant threat in the zone
Garlemald zone is generally brilliant visually and in background storytelling
Garlean indoctrination and the tragedy of the sisters
Jullus arc is great in general
Jullus himself is astonishingly well constructed as a character, in a very short period of time
The interruption scene, which is structured as a build up for a fight… only to be interrupted by the WHM representative
Sense-make logic of the ‘hostage’ situation, and Thancred’s shadowing
Quintus’s suicide is actually quite well done
The little things scene between the troops is exactly as powerful as it needs to be. Not because of defeating some great evil or stopping some horrible plot, but simply because things have gotten… better. In tiny, insignificant, microscopic ways…
…and those ways are what really matter
Honestly, a third positive for this scene. Dialogue, music, emotion, but most importantly of all… it is earned. Multiple expansions of build up are, honestly, rather well culminated in this moment. “It’s the little things, isn’t it?”
As much as it causes me personal trauma, the de-powering and desperate race back to camp is a very powerful moment for very good reason
Tower of Babil’s general visual storytelling and presentation
The initial journey to the moon is excellent in audio, visual, moments, and escalation
Hythlodeus and the echoes are a great additive
Tension of post-Zodiark… the axe has fallen, but yet to hit anything
Loporrit breather section is great in several ways
Livingway’s introduction scene is hysterical (and a necessary moment)
The ‘forest’ which is, honestly, just… heartwarming
Speaking of heartwarming, the Loporrits attempts at keeping us ‘away for our own good’ and how terrible they are at it…
…and Urianger’s moment of settling down with the crew, the significance of names
Alphinaud’s midnight scene is a perfect encapsulation of his idealism in positivity; the desire for the betterment
Alisaie’s midnight scene is a great example of her idealism in negativity; the fear of things going badly, pushing her to prevent
Thancred’s midnight scene is just so him. The pragmatist and realist who, ultimately, cannot detach himself from his personal connections that keep him going
Y’shtola’s midnight scene continues to be very her; snarking covering the concern and fear that drowns her, and her desire to make sure we’re recovered… always attending to reality
Estinian’s midnight scene is very him. For all his layers and pretensions, the man cares deeply and, more to the point, very much wants all those things like friendship, happiness, and hope fulfilled
G’raha’s midnight scene is just so adorkable and so him. The elder mage who is still nervous at just the thought of talking to us, and really just wants to help
Vanaspati’s storytelling is exactly as horrifying as it should be. We see despair propagate…
…and the escalating nightmare of the backdrop visuals
The scene where Matsya unknowingly and unwillingly spreads the despair wave is brilliantly horrible
G’raha’s standing up seamlessly into the leadership role in the ‘satrap’s demise is brilliant, and good consequence storytelling
Estinien finding himself and demonstrating his growth from Heavensward to Vtra
Matsya’s desperate, terrified flight, child in hand, hits me harder than most I imagine… but even ignoring my personal protective instincts towards the kid…
…the scene is a masterclass. It’s built up perfectly, the story hasn’t held any punches so you know it could have hit here… but even on top of that…
…Matsya never gave up. He held on, even as he began to turn, he didn’t cross that line. He did not give in. And in his defiance he saved that child’s life, as well as his own
The Healer Role Quest in general is a great, well constructed look at the layered tragedy that is prison hierarchy
And the final moment with Fordola, the kid, and Arenvald is great
For all its dreck, the Tank Role quest does at least give us some good backstory for Kan-E
Ranged Role did several bits of good, mostly for the little moments and private stories…
…but also for the very triumphant return of Gosetsu (twice!) and Hien
Two positives for Mage Role, it’s the usual good Ishgardian well thought out storytelling…
…but also a good outro and ‘now what’ about the church and its role in Ishargian society
Ktisis Hyperboreia does some generally excellent visual storytelling
Ktisis Hyperboreia also has some great story tidbits, not the least of which being fighting alongside those whom we do
Cutscene incompetence aside, the big confrontation scene with Hermes is generally awesome…
…made further so by the natural teamwork of Venat, Emet-Selch, and Hythlodeus
Elpis is in general fascinating, with some great visual storytelling
The time travel twist is admittedly a good one
Meteion is just adorable…
…but even more interesting is her nature and how it affects her interactions
Emet-Selch as narrator was an inspired choice
Emet-Selch in past is given a great amount of additional characterization and moments…
…earning a second positive despite everything for the continued nuance and construction of his character, visually, audibly, and in writing
Hythlodeus was always a good character, but he is fleshed out even more in the past…
…earning him, his presentation, his purpose in the narrative a second positive
Hyth + Hades make for fantastic chemistry and are fantastic every moment they’re on screen together
The wonderfully uncanny valley of the ancient’s culture and the fascination therewith…
…as they perceive life, death, duty, other races… and their unique form of stagnation
Hermes is a very well constructed example of someone who simply doesn’t quite fit with his surroundings, and so clearly struggles with it
The brilliant external continuity of the chain of dominos that lead to time travel
Theme of accepting past and moving through it
Venat. Just… Venat….
…who is fantastic for her relatively short period of screen time
The first Despair Wave
And the Meteion Report
The ‘avengers assemble’ moment where Alphinaud calls on the connections we’ve made across the last 5 expansions…
…really did some great stuff overall, showing the dominos where they lay
The ‘breather’ segment has some issues, but the payoff of the scene with Urianger is beyond words. He’s been legit this entire expansion, but the moment of his being embraced by Moenbryda’s parents…
…and finally allowing himself to accept and embrace in turn, not just them, but himself, and those lost
Erenville has only so much screen time, but is actually pretty awesome in every scene he’s in
Montichaigne is a great example of a good reasonable authority figure, who is helpful and enjoyable despite
Matsya has already had his moments to shine earlier but frankly deserves…
…two positives for how brilliantly they portray a simple fisher and the significance thereof
Vtra is yet another example of a reasonable authority figure who similarly manages to accomplish both being engaging and helpful, while still having his own concerns and worries to flesh him out
Nidhana is just fantastic in general, and delightful as utilized
Lucia actually gets some good time to shine this time around
Alphinaud is, as usual, awesome
Alisae is… as usual… awesome
Urianger in general actually manages to be even better than normal, this being one of his better …
…earning a second positive
Let’s go ahead and get some voice acting points out of the way. Alphinaud…
…Alisae…
Urianger…
Emet-Selch…
Hermes…
Venat…
G’raha…
…and three…
…general…
…positives for NPCs and other characters
The very concept of the Despair Wave is a wonderfully horrific idea on every level…
…and the game uses it to very good effect across the game
The loporrits in general are just a delight
Tataru doesn’t get much screen time but she, similarly, shines each time she’s there
The terrible burden of Venat
Internal Continuity is fantastic in this one…
…easily earning a second positive
But it doesn’t end there, because it also acknowledges the previous expansions (and stuff you personally have done)…
…thus a second positive for external continuity
Wonderful visual storytelling in the Aitiascope…
…and little callbacks and continuity moments
The breaking of Venat cutscene is very well acted, presented, and showcased
The pre-final battle scene with Y’shtola, Urianger, and Thancred is exactly what it needs to be. Fond, melancholy, showcasing growth, and hints of the ‘after’
The simplicity of sitting beside the sleeping G’raha and Alisae, and the friendly interactions with Krile
Estinien and Alphinaud’s moment is great (especially when Estinien admits, albeit briefly, that they are family)
Estinien being, as ever, the perfect person to cut through the crap and force the issue, to perfect musical cues
The G’raha Tia ‘goodbye’ scene is actually really cool, mostly because G’raha is really himself and dorks out beautifully
The Omicron quests about trying to understand connections between people are perfectly horrifying
Alisae and Alphinaud’s ‘goodbye’ is actually quite well done, especially on the voice acting axis
The End Walk
Calling back Emet and Hythlodeus, the blooming of the flowers, the recalling of Hermes’ words, and the crack in Meteion’s despair…
…is such a smile and tear inducing scene it deserves two positives
And one last positive for the final send off of Emet-Selch
Endsinger has great music, dialogue, visuals, presentation…
…and is made even better by the hyperbeam moment of phase 2
The Outro / Ending with the family rejoicing at our survival, and the ship journeying across the NPCs we’ve known and the places we’ve visited
The Stigma Dreamscape visuals and storytelling are very nice
And the quest chain surrounding the Stigma Dreamscape is further nice
The visual and background world building and storytelling of the Dead Ends…
…is really quite excellent, and gives us some great visual and audio flavor
The Studium Gatherer quests are actually quite sweet and heartwarming…
…but it gains a second positive for the world and culture building
Smileton is honestly one of the better visually designed dungeons in the game on sheer quality of brickwork and design
The Culinarian Studium quest is actually quite amusing in its absurdity
There’s actually several consequence storytelling sidequests in Sharlayan proper, one about Papalymo, one about Moenbryda, one about the Levilleur family, one about Alisae in particular… it’s good stuff
We finally (finally) have good side quests in Elpis, ranging from local flavor to world building to explanations of culture and species and discourses on how the ancients interact with each other
Elpis sidequests mk. 2
The Moon (yay!) has good side quests, mostly adorable stuff but also some good insights into how the loporrits function and are adapting to us…
…earning a second positive
The dragon sidequests in Ultima Thule were legit, with good, personal stories and more background for the dragon people themselves
Similarly the Ea sidequests in Ultima Thule were fascinating and horrifying in equal measure
The Garlemald sidequests don’t do much in general (a lot of fairly basic ones) but there are enough gems there to be worth notice, usually dealing with the aftermaths of the crisis or rogue 3rd Legion elements
As usual, the Ea regional quests are terrifying in their alien’ness
Aggregate: The Elpis Regional chain is pretty cute, and horrible as we make our worst enemies in the past // The Garlemald Regional chain is a nice moment of positivity in the otherwise gloomy zone // Helping Dreamingway was just adorable, really
The 6.1 Tataru cutscene is wholesome and adorable
6.1; Estinian’s cutscene with the vendor, the kid, and us is great
Dammit 6.1! G’raha is just… the best, really
6.1; Y’shtola waking up and being bonked isn’t just adorable and humorous, it’s also well directed and animated
6.1; General consequence storytelling in the re-establishment of trade, orphanage construction, and distribution of hoarded wealth
6.1; The simple yet powerful vows of support and encouragement for Vtra from his people
6.1; the final Role Quest acknowledging the mess and recovery operations of Garlemald

Story Negatives:

Inconsistent / absent voice acting in main story stuff
Empty text is a bit of a problem in the initial city-state quests
Bad voice acting isn’t all over the place, but there are several performances in ARR which actively ruin their respective scenes
Music direction is pretty problematic in ARR, with the same songs being played entirely too often
…a common problem…
…across entirely too much time
The entire pre-Titan arc is honestly just… awful. It’s too long, it’s almost entirely filler, and its plot and pacing and story are just… bad
There’s a general presentation problem persistent in ARR, which deflates scenes that otherwise should have impact, and detracts from story beats throughout
The entire pre-Garuda arc is just straight up padding filler…
…and, worse, we’re actively in a hurry and the quests literally waste our time (in lore!) while rubbing our faces in that fact
Minfilia is a flat, bland, empty piece of cardboard…
…which is made even worse by just how much camera presence she has, despite her bad VA, bad character, and absence of relevance
This isn’t quite a negative for Minfilia so much as for her constant presence, which makes her worse
The ARR MSQ has a serious repetition problem of having a serious repetition problem
The Castrum Praetorium has… several issues when it comes to the narrative axis. As an Outro it’s lacking at best, there’s several extended examples of cutscene incompetence, and the actual final thing is just… flat
Pacing has serious issues throughout the MSQ
The final escape sequence from the World of Darkness is silly on every level. Bad storyboarding and cutscene incompetence galore
A whole lot of boring nothing drivel in the La Noscea side quests
The Gridanian side quests are the worst of the lot by far…
…with so little meat to them and so much bleh nonsense
The Lancer 1-30 quests are… not good. Excessive repetition and honestly mostly drivel, with a tiny bit of nice world building and character right at the end making it merely one negative
Excessive amounts of cutscene incompetence…
…across all of the Beast Tribe quests, to the point where we quite literally might as well not have even been there
Ninja 30-50 honestly takes far too long and is a bit cliche’d, plus Karasu is just irritating
The entire Nabriales ‘chain’ is… weird. It’s critically important to the overall plot, with the White Auracite and the Ascians’ nature, and yet the scenes are just… badly done, and bad tempo, cutscene incompetence, and weird direction rob it of all significance
The ‘big drum beat, mission’ song is overused to the point where I actively hate it when it shows up, and that’s in addition to its nature tends to hit the same frequencies and registers as dialogue, meaning when it plays over voice acting it causes issues
Aggregate: WHM 30-50 is, at best, boring // BRD 30-50 is… you guessed it… boring
There is an exceptional amount of narrative cheating with the entire build up for the Ivy and how it is designed to completely remove any semblance of foreshadowing from the circumstances
Ilberd is just the worst. Screw him
The absolutely ridiculous nonsense of us picking up and keeping the vial for evidence deserves
There is a truly aggressive amount of cutscene incompetence going on with the main character in the Banquet scene
Yda and Paplymo staying behind is literally contrary to the entire point of us fleeing instead of fighting, AND the gate being closed behind them could have been done with them on the other side to the same effect!
The moogle sidequest is not great to begin with, but it’s made even worse because it’s a multi day delay when we’re in a hurry for no good reason
The story sequencing of the main plot and the Ul’Dah plot has issues. The two plot threads are interesting in their own rights, but it’s awful in its placement
There is an irritating amount of cutscene incompetence in the death of Haurchefant, which actively detracts from the entire sequence
Charibert and the Knights of the Round are just… cheats, honestly
Also there’s just general cutscene incompetence all around
For the second time in in the HW MSQ, we have pacing and sequencing issues as we go right up to Azys La… and then, while we’re on an obvious time crunch… we go off and do side quests for a while
The undoing of Y’shtola’s ‘death’ for no real purpose or consequence
Some pretty bad cutscene incompetence in the Alexander raids
Honestly Mide’s ‘love story’ is honestly kind of… bad, and sort of ruins the overall arc
Popping in and out and in and out of Alexander for no good reason (often times minutes apart from each other) is just stupid
There is no reason for us to be in the Mhach cutscenes half the time, and it leads to a lot of irritating cutscene incompetence as we literally stand there doing nothing in a scene that has nothing to do with us
The PLD arc is boring, actively nonsensical, and ignores its own continuity in favor of dull plot points that go no where and mean nothing…
…earning a second negative
WAR 50-60 is bad, boring, after-school-special…
…and, worse, is the same damn arc from the ARR one
General Empty Text issues
AST 30-60 just takes too damned long. Between empty text and repeating itself its bloated past reasonability, easily being three times the length of the other class quests and not in a good way
MCH 50-60’s hatesink Dzamael character was… not well done. Too overt, too sudden a turnaround at the last minute
MIN 50-60 sucks. It’s dull as dishwater, predictable to its detriment, and doesn’t do anything with its cliches
The Western Coerthas quest chains honestly kinda suck
The majority of the Dravanian Hinterlands quests are boring to the point of detrimental, following hunters doing hunting things and also pluckiness woo
The moogle quests. Just… what a waste of everything
As much as I love the overall scenes, throwing the eyes over the bridge is not only stupid, but leads to a lot of bleh
Aggregate: Emmanellain. ‘Nuff said. // While a minor point, being poisoned to set up the failed conference is totally unnecessary as we only had to be absent a few minutes at best. It could have been accomplished while we were out dealing with wolves // The way the Warriors of Darkness get portrayed early on is unnecessarily (and narratively cheating) evil muwa ha ha
Narrative cheating of the Griffin… again, sigh
Cutscene incompetence with the Griffin… again, sigh
The utter pointlessness of the reveal of Yda = Lyse and the total lack of follow through thereupon
The usual repetition problem
Zenos’ initial fight against us has him shrek us effortlessly which… I’m sorry, what?
So by the time we hit the Ruby Sea we start to run into ‘because plot’ reasons for cutscenes
The story sequencing of the early 4.0 arc is very, very disjointed
The pacing of the entire Ruby Sea arc really suffers
Magnai is an asshole, and that’s… ‘fine’ but the problem is despite repeated interactions he never truly gets his comeuppance nor does he get any better
External continuity with Ilberd being ‘right’ despite everything…
…and for the disjointed positioning of Stormblood relative to other expansions
Grynewaht who is somehow as good as Raubahn in combat, who is misplaced in both tone and execution as a bad combination of comic relief and horrific nightmare
We… stopped being the Star Destroyer for some reason in Stormblood. We build back up to it, but it’s undeniable, unexplained, and actively hurts the narrative repeatedly
Gosetsu and Yotsuyu’s death scene is honestly really, really bad on every level. Pacing, storyboarding, incompetence…
…a second negative for all of the above for three solid minutes
Lyse is not a bad character, but the narrative has no idea how to utilize her properly, and it actively hurts the overall story
The ‘ending’ to 4.0 is… weird. It’s misplaced, ignores consequence storytelling (we’re super free) and honestly just… tries too hard
I like him, and I like where it goes, but Gosetsu and Yotsuyu surviving is total bullcrap on every level
Ramza is an addlepated twit and literally called out in-universe for it
The entire wine self-insert chain is pointless drivel with very little to redeem it (Hancock was cool)
The pacing of the Ivalice arc is absolutely all over the place, rubber-banding between too-slow and too-fast with no rhyme or reason
PLD 60-70 continues the heady trend of PLD quests… sucking
SAM 60-70 was just straight up melodrama nonsense on top of cutscene incompetence
LTW 60-70 iiiis dull as dishwater boring drivel, with the formulaic after-school-special approach without anything interesting or fun (with the sole exception of the OBJECTION! moment)
ARM 60-70 is dull as dishwater
CRP 60-70 has problems with both of its ‘tones’ (silly vs. serious) and mishandles both
BSM 60-70 repeats the problems of ‘ha ha abusive dad is so silly’ and slants the whole story awfully
Cutscene incompetence with Lakshmi
There is an unacceptable amount of ‘because plot’ in the form of artificial drama, cutscene incompetence, and general lack of agency with regards to Tsuyu
Aggregate: Grynewaht really has no place in the Gosetsu v. Yotsuyu scene // Grynewaht continues to ruin scenes as he just sort of ‘theres’ in the Yotsuyu v. Zenos scene
Aggregate: The insistence in Zenos not suiciding by Lyse is just… tonally out of place and, as usual, forces Lyse into a narrative position she should not be in // WVR 60-70 is… weird, tonally inconsistent, and leans a little too hard in its slanting towards tradition
In hindsight, Tsuyu’s tragedy is really quite unnecessary, over-the-top, and done for its own sake
Hien finally becomes the negative character I misfondly remember in the patch content
Zenos’ arc conclusion (fourth thing)… which is utterly ruined by him being brought back from the dead…
…and rather than doing anything good with it, they just repeat his stupid ‘hunt’ arc
This is further compounded by the fake-out death itself
And finally, the flandardization of what was, otherwise, a decent character
Music utilization problem continues
As much as I like what came of it, Gaius’ survival is, honestly, yet another fake-out undo death thing
The war council and parlay with Emperor Varis’ first half honestly suffers some weird construction and content issues, with the leaders being (frankly) idiots in their moralizing and Varis barely even responding
General repetition issues as per usual
The time dilation problem remains, as it always did
Time dilation reaction problem; Alisae edition
Time dilation reaction problem; Alphinaud edition
Time dilation reaction problem; Thancred edition
Time dilation reaction problem; Uriangier edition
There is absolutely no good reason for the main character to participate in the rescue of Minfilia. The whole tonal, thematic point of this encounter is that the Crystarium is inspired by us to take action regardless of us… and then we go along to help them for some reason
And then there’s Ran’jit. Ran’jit, who is an asshole, who is a threat of the week, which is bad for all the reasons it usually is
Ran’jit continues to be terrible. He has less character than Minfilia (the original) and despite having purpose in the story (as Thancred’s opposite) he is consistently mis-used
Cutscene incompetence returns!
Toupasa, Ran’jit, and the usual mary sue / incompetence issues
As usual, fake-out deaths (Y’shtola) are a negative
The Trolley sequence has some decent moments, but has some serious pacing and padding issues
Ran’jit’s survival is… absolutely awful. Never explained, terrible even if it was explained, and the usual awfulness
Also I’m sorry but him kicking the cart aside is stupid for several reasons. Ignoring the obvious fact that it is a sudden power mary sue bullcrap, it also punches the player in the crotch after all the crap we just went through just to get the stupid trolley working again
…as usual, fake-out deaths (Thancred)
And finally, Ran’jit (sigh) fights us (sigh) again (sigh)
There are occasional pacing (and arguably padding) issues at a few points in Kholusia and the Tempest, when in both cases we’re in a bit of a hurry too
The irritation and aggravation of Konogg and Anogg is way over the top
There is entirely too much padding and empty text in the initial Nier quest chain
Konogg’s 180 in character is the usual exaggerated nonsense
An utterly unsatisfying, ridiculous conclusion to the Nier Raids
There’s… a little bit too much ‘get on with it’ while we’re under literally increasing ticking clock scenarios during the finale of 5.3
Zenos’ final scene in 5.3 is a little bit too much ‘and an even greater threat looms dun dun dun’ for me, and feels ill timed and worse applied
Cutscene incompetence
The big dramatic cutscene of ‘we’ve got to earn it!’ before two idiot children go off to die horribly in service of hindering their own plans for no good reason. Screw that entire cutscene
The Weapons arc has so many issues for me. Ignoring the obvious weird discomfort of jackass, there’s also the fake drama and needlessly irritating stupidity of the kids
A bonus negative for fake drama
A bonus for cutscene incompetence
And then there’s Creepface (bad hatesink? Get off my screen? Objectively badly written one dimensional character?)
There is such a cascade of idiocy in this entire chain it literally is idiot volleyball
This is in addition to the flubber-levels of bouncing around the tone of the entire chain has
The entire Emerald sequence of cutscenes… suck. Just… on every single level, across the board…
…earning a second negative
Creepface’s second cutscene is… entirely too creepy, uncomfortable, and arguably over-written
And then there’s Allie’s big ‘rebellion’ scene which, forgive me, I won’t go into detail on because quite literally everything is wrong with it…
…up to and including Valens taking a Diamond Weapon beam to the face and surviving
The ending of the Weapon chain starts off at a firm ‘neutral’ and between repetition, un-earned crap, veneration of all the wrong things, and after-school special
There’s just… meandering dishwater drivel in the physical dps chain, made worse by the literal ‘I hate you!’ (five seconds later) ‘please come back!’ bit
There is an aggressive amount of cutscene incompetence during the end of CLL cutscene, with multiple points where multiple people could do something (indeed, the hostage-taker literally kicks away their hostage at a certain point) but we just kind of… go along with it Because Plot
Cutscene incompetence in the tank role quest
The Dancer quest isn’t just disinteresting, it’s actively de-investing to the point where I didn’t want to do the quests. This is on top of the fact that it should be a big change to the setting but isn’t, and retroactively adds something that’s always never been an issue
Gunbreaker quest chain cutscene incompetence ruins an otherwise good scene
Some generally dull, boring quests in BRD, BLM, MCH at 80
The repetition of the story is repetitively repetitive
The SGE 70-80 chain is honestly pretty bad. It tries to engage on an emotional level and fails, and tries to have several big moments and… fails
Breather episode of Sharlayan and subsequent pacing issues
Breather episode of the Burrows and subsequent pacing issues
Cutscene incompetence
…more cutscene incompetence
Weirdly unnecessary and lengthy repetition of all we already know with the Forum when many things could have accomplished it with far less waste
The tank role quest is… bad. It’s dumb, meanders, and manages to be completely disinteresting…
…which by itself is worthy of two negatives, but then it pushes into actual aggravation as it turns out to all be about…
…the elementals, and how (frankly) awful they are and how we owe them everything and all that blegh
The early Ranged Role quest honestly sucked, and was actively angrifying
Okay I complain a lot about cutscene incompetence but we just stand there for literal minutes while Meteion (very slowly) recites her information (which we want to stop), allow her to turn (despite knowing what it is), and cause everything… all because we just stand there watching (all of us, even)
The main theme of the game is… weak, as it is excessively repeated to the point of aggravation
And further hampered by several thematic weaknesses which pull the plot down
Speaking of repetition, Meteion really does need to stop saying the same damn thing every time we talk to her, it starts to actually pull away from otherwise decent scenes
The final Zenos fight is mis-placed and unnecessary
The handwaviness of being able to casually travel back to the past and the edge of reality (regularly, for multiple quests) is a detriment to the story as a whole, especially given how difficult and costly it was for the initial transit
The inconsistent time travel problems, especially given how it’s using the same method
The Studium Weaver chain is boring as sin…
…and compounded by actively being insulting towards just about everyone
The Studium Smithing/restoration chain is dull and is terribly paced
The Labryinthos side quests are honestly drivel…
…no world building, no fleshing out, no nothing
Similar problem with Thavnair

Gameplay Positives:

The ARR Miracle x1
The ARR Miracle x2
The ARR Miracle x3
Character creation has a decent number of options and generally well designed structure to it
The HUD customization allows for you to move just about any element to wherever, and scale them smaller or larger, which is awesome…
…earning a second HUD customization positive
MSQ and Class Quest indicators (always shows you what your next main quest or class quest is)
Macros and malleability thereof
Gameplay/Story Integration
Lots and lots of gameplay options in the menus
Autoloot on enemies
The auction house is a bit clunky and awkward but there are a lot of options for how to search for what
The player icons (idle, do not disturb, new player, returning player, in cutscene)
Guildhests serve as a good (if not great) way to tutorialize people who are new to MMOs the concepts therein
The city’s aethernet is a pretty well designed and helps to get around, with a surprisingly well done menu system
Generally good fast travel system (find, warp to from anywhere) …
…earning a second positive
Housing in general is a nice system. Limited, but there are some good cosmetics and some actual functionality to them
The gear set list and the ability to just hit a button and instantly swap classes and equipment on the fly is extraordinarily useful
Smith tutorial quests and how they get players into baseline mechanics
Chocobo bank storage (accessible on the fly) is a great QoL feature
The chocobo companion system, giving another (customizable) tool to help soloing players
Minions form a good type of personalization and customization…
…as do mounts
The glamour system allows for a huge amount of customization in appearance, but limitations in what you can do and the workarounds on top of workarounds pull this back from being more positives
The Duty Finder is a great way to just zip to any dungeon / raid, queue for specifics, and go in certain ways
The roulette system in general is brilliant. It keeps old content relevant, it helps new players, it rewards everyone doing it, it’s even more rewarding if someone’s doing something new, and it has a bunch of options to customize it…
…earning a second…
…and a third positive
The Stone Vigil isn’t much, but it’s probably the first actually designed dungeon in the game, with actual thought put into layout, encounter design, balancing, and bosses
The consistent usage of vuln stacks as a way to apply penalty for failure without being too harsh (can recover from it, drops after a minute if continue to not get hit) and a way to tutorialize which attacks should be dodged
Tam-Tara Hard is a reasonably well designed dungeon; nice minibosses, good trash layout, and reasonable boss design
The new Praetorium is a substantially better dungeon than it used to be, with much truncated pulls and much better bosses
Further, the Livia and Gaius fights are much improved
The resurrection mechanic is a good system. It allows for gradient penalty for failure (you get a debuff, it’s expensive, and it’s time consuming, but you don’t have the snowball problem so many JRPGs have)
The ability to enjoy content at-level as an option is an awesome thing supported by in game systems and mechanics
Ifrit Hard is a pretty good fight. Consistent mechanic usage, fun gimmicks, and built in recovery periods
The Golden Saucer in general is surprisingly good fun, with lots of minigames and a good variety of rewards to them
Triple Triad itself is fairly well fleshed out, to the point of being its own decent minigame
The Lords of Vermillion minigame is… really surprisingly well done, and is a neat little minigame way to use your minions in a non cosmetic fashion
Lost City of Ampador is surprisingly good, since it actually uses some fun trash gimmicks and has unique (if simple) boss designs
Garuda Hard adds some nice layers to the fight, and is generally well designed (gradient difficulty, recovery mechanics, lots to keep track of but not too much, etc.)
The Nael fight, as frustrating as it is, actually has some really cool, well-woven mechanics
The Bahamut fight is pretty legit, with good spacing and pacing of mechanics and variance, just… I can’t summarize it, it’s legit
It’s so legit it actually gets a second positive
Sastasha Hard has a couple issues (the first boss is just way too damage heavy) but the rest of it is a well designed, amusing, fun revamp of the dungeon
Music is… honestly not that great, but there are some legitimately fun songs
The Labryinth raid is actually quite well designed, with some fun fights and good trash layout
Similarly the World of Darkness is pretty legit across the board, even the fights people have issues with are still good ones
Wanderer’s Keep (hard) has some surprisingly well thought out trash design and some fun boss mechanics
Ampador Keep (hard) is honestly pretty fun, with good trash layout and some unique boss designs
The second Gilgamesh fight in Ampador is legit, with great layered mechanics and a lot of fun gimmicks to it
The Phoenix fight in Coils is a really fun, well constructed dps race fight
Crafting itself is a very well thought out, balanced, well designed, in-depth, fun system to craft things…
…earning it a second positive
The crafting interface is easily one of the best I’ve seen in gaming, with a ton of good interface design and lots of different ways to search for recipes, items, flowcharts, etc…
…earning a second…
…and third positive
The Hunting Log isn’t great, and is abandoned too early, but it’s a neat additional way to reward players for seeking out specific mobs and hunting
Monk at 1-50 is actually surprisingly well designed, gradually but surely adding portions of the core mechanics of the class so it actually feels fun to play while leveling and at 50…
…plus its smooth weaving in between its three core combos, with plenty of utility on top of it, is great fun
Warrior 1-50 is actually enjoyable to play, gets most of its core functionality, and has good utility
Scholar 1-50 is substantially superior to WHM, with more utility, more mobility, and more variety in its design
Summoner 1-50 is just as well designed as Monk for different reasons, with all of its core mechanics frontloaded and an enjoyable and malleable rotation, while still looking cool…
…earning a second positive
Ninja 1-50 once again pushes most of its core mechanics (the mudras) forwards, and has most of its combos by then, but lacks some other things that help flesh it out later
Good King Moogle Mog XII–may he sing his awesome song forever–is a decent enough council-style fight, with one of each class doing their own thing and having to balance that all at once
The Leviathan fight continues the trend of good Trial fights by having a reasonable number of mechanics that layer into each other nicely
Try to be surprised, but the Ramuh fight is similarly pretty fun and well designed
Shiva, naturally, is a good fight. Multiple phases with consistent layered mechanics
Keeper of the Lake is the best designed dungeon in ARR, with good trash design and good ‘barriers to progress’ while having some fun bosses…
…earning a second positive overall
The Vishap fight, in its nerfed form, is actually quite fun. Tanks have to keep the adds in check, the dps runs the cannons and burns down adds, the healers frantically keep everyone up, and the entire fight is on a short enrage
Aggregate: Melusine has some visibility and consistency issues (typical of early fights) but it’s some pretty cool ideas and function // Hullbreaker Isle has some issues, but it has some neat fights (especially the Kraken)
QoL Features (quest log and map to find locations and warp to them, joining other people’s warps for free, notifications of nice long cutscenes, etc.)
The revamped Ultima fight is an actual friggin’ fight, and it’s got actual mechanics and presentation and markers…
…and has a phase 2 which is also an actual friggin’ fight
The Palace of the Dead is a reasonably good ‘trial’ system, letting players try out classes and mechanics, while also providing an alternate leveling system for progression
As with many other Trials before it, Ravana is pretty legit
Tioman is a pretty cool fight overall, with meteors, spread markers, etc.
The music is substantially better constructed and, frankly, better quality than ARR’s
The Vault is, blessedly, a well designed dungeon, with good escalation of trash and some fun boss encounters
A special bonus for the Ser Charibert boss fight
The Great Gubal Library in general is quite fun and well designed, with well placed and escalating trash…
…plus some very inventive and fun bosses
And a plus for the final boss of Gubal
The Ascian Primal fight at the end of the Aetherochemical Research Facility is legit
Alexander 5 is a pretty fun, complex fight with some neat gimmicks
Alexander 7 is actually pretty legit, good complexity and good variety
Alexander 8 is awesome. Lots of moves, tons of fun gimmicks, but best of all…
…no binary difficulty. Failure can be recovered from even despite the frenetic pace thereof
Despite requiring a dungeon journal to know what’s going on, Alexander 9 is a pretty cool fight
Alexander 10 is a good, properly tutorialized-within-the-fight boss, with good escalation of mechanics
With one notable exception, the music in Alexander rawks
Alexander 12 is legit, easily one of the best fights in the expansion…
…with lots of great, thematically appropriate, great mechanics and the awesome portals phase
Sophia is a legit fight, with some fun layering and escalation throughout
Zurvan, similarly, is a great fight, with only one niggling flaw in the whole bit
Arachne Eve is, as usual, a fun and good fight with good manual teamwork and nice ‘use detriments to benefits’ gameplay
Forgall is, surprisingly, another good example of a ‘use detriments to benefits’ concept with megadeath and the origination of the doritos
Ozma is a very fun fight, lots of moving pieces and nice big telegraphs (if you know what they’re doing)
WAR 50-60 is still a good tank (probably the best tank in the range), adding better spenders and self heals
WHM 50-60 officially ‘gets good’, with the core lily mechanic coming into its own, and even more ogcds to keep healing interesting
MNK 50-60 continues its excellence, adding Blitzes to the otherwise good combo loops
BRD 50-60 actually becomes rather fun, with the added dot refresher, new song and subsequent proc, and a few other tidbits
SUM 50-60 really starts to come into its own, with the added mobility of the Bahamut-related spells and more options for keeping the dps rolling
Fractal Continuum is a good dungeon with good visuals, good music, good trash design…
…and engaging and fun bosses
Saint Mocianne’s Arboretum is actually quite fun, with legitimately fun visuals and audio and some enjoyable bosses
Pharos Sirius (Hard) is actually pretty legit in its own right, with some fun mechanics and the music remains awesome
NIN 50-60 really comes into its own, having good viscerality and fun but let’s be honest, what really locks it in is its smart usage of cooldowns and charges
DRG 50-60 continues the trend of enjoyability, with a few extra extensions of combos and an additional ogcd
Amdapora Hard has some fun and unique visuals and presentation, but really comes into its own…
…in its boss design, with some fantastic and clever mechanics throughout
Hullbreaker Hard is reasonable enough. It’s essentially a series of trash fights, but there’s thought and care put into them
Gubal Library Hard has some fun stuff, but ultimately it’s the excellent boss design that really makes it work…
…earning a second positive
Sohm Al (Hard) continues the trend of decent HW dungeons
The Antitower has good visuals, good music, good trash…
…and good boss design throughout
Continuing the trend, Sohr Khai is a good dungeon with some fun boss mechanics
The final Nidhogg raid is probably one of the better fights in the expansion…
…with the usual fantastic interweaving of mechanics, and a wonderful escalation of all three phases
Baelsar’s Wall has fun (if simple) bosses, and good layered trash
Music is, as usual, pretty legit
A second music positive for general quality
Sirensong Sea begins Stormblood’s dungeon catalog on a good note, with good barrier trash and simple but fun boss fights
A weird but substantial positive for several QoL improvements added during Stormblood
Susano is, let’s be honest, a pretty enjoyable fight, and starts to really push the ideas of universal markers and positioning
Bardam’s Mettle is a good dungeon in general, with interesting trash and some very fun boss fights
The second boss of Bardam’s Mettle, Bardam himself, is good enough…
…to warrant two positives. In addition to being unique and fun, it serves as a tutorial of sorts for the universal markers that have finally grown to be, and is a well designed gradient difficulty conflict which allows for individual and group recovery while remaining challenging
The Doma dungeon is fun, interesting, engaging…
…but also has really fun, well tutorialized, properly complex boss design
Lakshmi is another good boss fight, introducing mechanics with longer timers and showcases so you can be tutorialized before escalating properly
Ala Mhigo is one of the best dungeons in the expansion, with great and proper trash design, bosses, and function…
…earning a second positive
Stormblood, finally, starts utilizing universal markers
The Shinryu fight is, surprise surprise, good… mean, but good
Alte Roite does the usual tutorialization, escalation, and is fun regardless
Catastrophe
Halicarnassus…
…part two
ExDeath is one of my favorite mage bosses ever…
…easily earning a second positive
Phantom Train is, similarly, a very fun fight
Kefka is a legitimately enjoyable fight, simple in concept but ultimately fun in execution
Kugane Castle is alright; simple, but fun, especially the Yojimbo fight at the end
Consequently, the second Jim fight is actually quite fun, with only a few issues here and there
Chaos 1
Chaos 2
Midgardsormr
Omega music… the whole kit, really
Much as I have issues with it, Omega 11 has a lot of nicely layered attacks and moves and is… well, Omega
And then there’s the beauty that is Omega 12
RDM at 70 is easily one of the better classes overall…
…with good viscerality, good kit, and a nice complex rotation…
…or two, which weaves nicely in and out of itself
NIN gets even better at 70, with two nice spenders and Ten Chi Jin
Byakko is a somewhat simple fight, but its big on spectacle and that it does well
Swallow’s Compass is reasonably fun, good trash tiering and some fun encounters, on top of some legit boss design in the first and third bosses
Suzaku has some really fun stuff in its design, especially the colored template thing
Seiryu has good layers and complexity, marred a little by some RNG and some camera issues, but still fun
AST at 70 has a huge variety of utility and nicely overlapping heals
Heaven On High continues to be a reasonably good ‘trial’ system, letting players try out classes and mechanics, while also providing an alternate leveling system for progression
SCH 60-70 is only a little different than before, but different enough to add some variety and additional ‘battery’ utility to it
Fractal Continuum (Hard) has some fun trash but ultimately leans on its music, visuals, and bosses
Saint Mocianne’s Arboretum (Hard) is actually really fun, with multiple good trash tiering and fun and innovative bosses…
…leading to a second positive
Mateus is simple but fun
General quality to the Rabanastre raid (trash design, some fun bosses)
The Argath fight is legit, clever, and does some fun stuff with its lie/truth mechanics
Belias and its time fun mechanics are really cool, mostly about paying attention and knowing in advance where to be
Famfrit is a hectic fun fest of waaagh
Construct 7 is, memes and jokes aside, really awesome. It’s a lot of fun gimmicks and mechanics on top of…
…the math segment, which actually buffs you for doing it right
Yiazmet is a good ‘chaotic’ fight, lots going on and lots to keep track of but essentially all dodgeable
Mustadio is a very fun pay-attention-check fight, with lots of tracking
Agrias, too, is a great fight that uses the Duty ability to good effect
The Orlandeau fight is a bit much, but it’s quite well constructed, with a whole lot going on and nice layering thereto
And big surprise, Ultima is fantastic. Multi layered, lots of different types of mechanics, and…
…it’s effectively two fights in one, with a proper mid-mission checkpoint even
General additional positive for trash design and visual fidelity…
…of the two later Ivalice raids
DRK 70’s quest is fun, interesting, appropriate, and thematic
WAR continues its trend of excellence with several new useful moves to the kit and a great cooldown
SAM has a little bit of a button bloat issue, but otherwise is fun, engaging, rewarding…
…has great viscerality, and is a great build/spend class
Blue Mage’s may be limited, but the Carnivale is a nice lengthy amount of puzzle mini-game content for them to enjoy
And a plus for Blue Mages variety of spells and the uniqueness and fun thereof
The Drowned City of Skalla is another example of a series of fun boss fights
Tsukuyomi is a fantastic fight, with great mechanics and a great bridge and great layering and great everything…
…easily worth a second positive
As before, the Roleplay system is used and used well and is a good variant on Princess Peach segments
The Burn (minus the last boss) has some very fun mechanics and good construction
The Ghimlyt Dark continues the trend of excellent dungeons, some very fun boss fights…
…and actual well done terrain and trash design with environmental hazards
Aggregate: Chadarnook is simple but fun // Ditto for Guardian // Genbu is a pretty neat, fun fight // Great Hunt (monster hunter fight) is pretty fun overall, and unique besides
Ocean Fishing is a nice, rewarding, lucrative little side mini game that is reasonably well constructed and reasonably enjoyable
Trusts are a good method to ensure you can do the dungeons through the MSQ and…
…the scenario mode allows people to continue to use it as an additional leveling tool
Music! Music music music
Holminster Switch has some good trash design (and some bad) and starts leaning into the tutorialized boss construct
Dohn Mheg continues the trend of good dungeon design…
…and gets a bonus for the final boss being especially good
The Titania boss fight is exceptional, easily one of the best Trials to-date, and one of the better ones in Shadow… tons of layered mechanics and excellent build up throughout…
…earning a second positive
Have I mentioned the music? Even early on the music is legit in Shadow
Music point number two
Qitana Ravel is honestly one of the better dungeons so far in Shadow. It uses trash as tutorialization, and actually bothers with engaging miniboss encounters…
…in addition to the generally good, if simple, boss designs
Malikah’s Well has a few issues, but it shines in its fun and layered boss designs
Mt. Gulg has a few issues in boss design, but is overall quite fun
The Crown of the Immaculate fight isn’t really anything special… but it’s good stuff, good and fun and unique mechanics neatly and nicely layered upon each other
Amaurot dungeon is a very well executed dungeon, with tutorialization in trash design, fun and engaging bosses…
…and great music and visuals throughout
The Dying Gasp is probably in the running for the best raid in the game on several levels…
…not the least of which being how well constructed it is, how well it layers on itself…
…and how it progresses
Copied Factory has some issues with padding and telegraphs but is still fun at times and has some legit music
Puppet’s Bunker honestly has some of the best trash in the entire game, earning its own unique positive
A general Puppet’s Bunker positive
And a bonus one for really clever bosses (especially the first and the last ones)
General positive for quality of visuals, music, and encounters in Tower at Paradigm’s Breach
Red Girl is a very creative, very fun ‘players in control’ fight with a lot going on but all of it manageable…
…easily a two positive fight
Her Inflorescence is one of the best bosses I’ve seen in this game. Complexity without convolution, fully tutorialized in the fight, lots of varying and fun mechanics, very unique gimmicks that are explained in-fight, brilliant visuals and music…
…easily earning…
…three positives for being just that good of a boss fight
SCH at 80 has some great utility and a good spread of abilities…
…further, SCH at 80 also has a good general mentality and variance to its healing from all other healers
The Grand Cosmos languished a bit in several respects, but makes up for it with some creative and fun boss mechanics
Aggregate: Improved quality of life changes including but not limited to; The new interface for synthesizing, the quest altitude indicators, retrying on overmelds, linking party finder directly from chat, new hairstyle interface, expansion vendors in major cities
New Game + and the way it allows you to redo old content
The Roleplay fight as Estinien is pretty legit
BLM is, at long last, a full class at 80. It has a full rotation, but what really makes it shine is the micro optimizations in which cooldowns you use where
A rare quest positive for the Elidibus ‘gauntlet’
Heroes Gauntlet has a bit of a health problem but otherwise is quite well constructed, as we fight our way through the (totally not FFV) classes from other shards
BRD at 80 doesn’t just have lots of utility and a good setup, but actually leans on a fair few number of different types and varieties of mechanics, with lots of neat complexity and variety…
…making it a pretty easy two positive class
AST at 80 continues to have lots it can do, and well
The Seat of Sacrifice is a fantastic fight, while not one of the best ever it’s definitely high tier…
…especially given how it actually has a mid mission checkpoint! Oh and lots of very cool, well constructed mechanics
DRK at 80 finally has a good overall rotation and presentation, with a decent amount of interweaving mechanics, making it a good… dps class
Matoya’s Relict is weirdly generic for how unique many of its boss mechanics are, and is buoyed up by said mechanics almost entirely
Music positive number three
The Ruby Weapon fight has a few decent mechanics to it
The Sapphire Weapon fight is a fun quest, with well designed mechanics and a fun fight with a neat song
Emerald Weapon is a good, well designed, well layered, well tutorialized fight with breather periods, good music, good visuals…
…earning a second positive
MCH is still good, but barely different, at 80
SAM really, truly comes into its own at 80, with the ‘follow ups’ to combos and more options and buttons to keep things interesting…
…easily earning a second positive
Diamond Weapon, for all the flaws surrounding it, is an excellent fight, smartly keeping tanks relevant while removing ‘threat’ in the traditional sense, with lots of positional and ‘pay attention’ checks…
…earning a second positive
WHM 80 finally has a true loadout of both lily-using abilities and regulars, as well as really uping the viscerality of the class with Glare and Dia
E1 is, shocker, a good fight. Relatively simple yet enjoyably frantic, with lots of leeway time on top of the hits
E2 is awesome. It’s mostly the same types of mechanics we’ve faced, but with the added layer of the ‘clock’ which ‘delays’ them, forcing you to adapt and move rather quickly…
…easily earning a second positive, especially for sound design
PLD 80 finally, finally became a full and complete tank class at 80, with good rotations and timing and utility
RDM continues to be a good class, with good utility, and good fun, only hampered by being barely changed at 80
E3 layers its mechanics very nicely, especially towards the latter half, though it fumbles a bit in several ways
Yet another music positive (this time for Eden stuff)
DRG at 80 is, as with all classes, truly coming into its own, not just with combos that finally loop into themselves, but the additional Life of the Dragon ‘phase’ also adds a lot to the class…
…earning it a second positive
E4 has several issues with it, but where it shines (its frenetic pace and the layering of mechanics) it shines
E5 has a few problems but is, as per usual, a good fight
E6 does the usual good thing with layering and positioning, with only a few small issues
E7 is exceptionally well tutorialized within the fight, with introduction of mechanics in a vacuum and safety before escalating and layering…
…on top of being a very well constructed, unique fight to begin with
DNC is a fantastic fight in almost every respect. At first glance it’s simple, but picking it up is very smooth for new players, and it’s well constructed even at lower levels, plus there’s several bits of player control over the RNG of the procs of the class, and it all layers and flows onto itself beautifully, all while looking and sounding cool…
…easily earning…
…three positives
NIN continues being a well done class, with a few additional bells and whistles (Bunshin being a big one) that allow for greater control over stacking
E8 is one of the better Eden fights in general, having multiple phases and the great bridge phase, as well as great music…
…earning it a second positive
E9 is pretty simple, but keeps things nicely varied, especially with the platforms mechanic
GNB is really a fantastically designed class all around. It has everything other tanks do but just straight up feels better to play, designed around DPS mentality and structured to allow for layering OGCDs while staying mobile and fun…
…easily…
…a three positive class
E11, once you figure it out, has some good music and some good presentation to a reasonably well done, if simple, fight
E12 first half…
…and second half
Akademia Anyder isn’t anything special, really, but it has some fun mechanics in its boss designs
WAR continues its trend of being good
Twinning has great visuals, great music, and fun bosses…
…earning a second positive
The Firmament is, problems aside, a great way to level your crafters all the way up to 80 and manages to be rewarding at the same time
Similarly the Diadems are a good, if brutally direct, way to level your mining and botany
The Varis fight is actually pretty legit
Bozja is lucrative for both cosmetics and leveling…
…and is a great way to ‘try out’ a class at 80 (provided you are already 71)
Brionac is an interesting and fun fight, made even more so…
…due to the other side of it, the lower Drill fight
Adrammelch is pretty legit too
The prisoner section is a nice ‘breather’ section and a good way to do ‘trash’, by rewarding the players for saving the prisoners instead of just typical trash
And finally, the last fight of beast plus Lyon is a neat little challenge
Delebrum generic quality boss positive
The Bozjan Phantom fight is actually really fun, despite its simplicity
The Trinity Avowed is, similarly, pretty awesome
Paglth’an has good trash fights, good viscerality, good boss fights…
…and some truly excellent boss designs. Special bonus points for the second fight, the ‘magitek reactor’ fight, which is at its face a basic elevator boss but is very well constructed in how it progresses (trash to boss to trash to boss) and lots of variable mechanics that vary things up as you go through, with little repetition
The Second Battle of the Carteneau Flats is enjoyable for many of the usual reasons, and deserves special mention for actually adding mid-mission checkpoints to the game (finally)
SGE tutorial quest actually properly tutorializes with an interesting and engaging mini dungeon
The RPR tutorial quest, once again, tutorializes both the class… and positionals!
The ‘party’ system and optional interactions system is a great way to add optional dialogue and flavor text
For one of the only times in the game, Sharlayan is actually well constructed from a gameplay perspective, with good layout and connections between vendors, warp points, and access to auction house
Mindi boss has some great pay attention checks and layered mechanics
Sindi has some really cool fake out mechanics and nice layering as well (a berserk right before a big hitting telegraph)
And the final Magus Sister fight is fantastic, lots going on and great presentation and general fun
The ‘everyone’s gathered’ scene actually changing and acknowledging what you’ve done to-date
Metal Gear Thancred is rather basic at its core, but well executed and with gradient failstate
The recurrent usage of the NPCs and party members adding extra dialogue at most quests in the MSQ is a good storytelling tool
The inclusion of portraits alongside the in-dungeon text is a good tool to ensure story is not missed, and is easier (and quicker) to understand
Greater attempt and work to create actual variety to quests
Music
Music x2
The de-powered soldier stealth section is both brave and new, but more to the point is good when it’s good…
Tower of Babil gets a generic quality positive…
…on top of some fun and engaging bosses…
…and the final boss, Anima, getting his own
Zodiark is, surprise surprise, a rather fun boss, with fun ‘pay attention to changing scenario’ mechanics and excellent layering…
…leading to a second positive
Vanaspati isn’t super amazing, but still has some fun boss mechanics
The Melee DPS Role Quest boss fight was actually pretty fun
The Venat fight is surprisingly well constructed and mean
Ktisis Hyperboreia is a generally well done dungeon across the board, visually and audibly
Ktisis Hyperboreia’s bosses are great, some fantastic stuff, including the Hrothgar prototype…
…the snake… thing…
…and finally Hermes himself, all with some lovely and well done mechanics and gradient construction and tutorialization
The victory lap fight at Garlemald as Alphinaud, Alisae, and ourselves is pretty fun
The Livia boss in Aitiascope is a good’n
The rest of Aitiascope is quite enjoyable, with a fun (if simple) second boss and a fun (if too long) third boss
The Hydaelyn fight itself is a generally well constructed fight…
…but further credit must be given not just for the Trust system itself, but for the ‘lives’ system they implement via stacks of ReRaise
The ‘forced’ End Walk works exceptionally well
Caustic Grebuloff (first boss of The Dead Ends) does some fantastic ‘blown exaflare’ mechanics on top of good sound design and general quality
Peacekeeper (second boss of The Dead Ends) is an absolutely awesome fight, with tons of great mechanics that beautifully keep things frenetic
Ra-La (third boss of The Dead Ends) has some visibility issues but aside from that (minor) issue, it’s very well constructed and wonderfully layered
Endsinger is honestly a fantastic fight, with great visual indicators (outside of telegraphs), wonderful mechanics, and awesome viscerality and music and everything…
…easily earning a full…
…three positives
Stigma Dreamscape has some very cool and fun stuff…
…earning two generic positives for general design…
…but a singular positive for the final boss of Stigma-4
Smileton has relatively simple boss fights, but all three are well executed and smooth…
…earning a second positive
Crystalline Conflict is frenetic, fast, fun, well interfaced…
…and so easily earns two positives for its overall mode
Alzadaal’s Legacy is in general good quality in music and design
Armored Chariot gets a bonus positive for the fun and gimmicky mirrors mechanic
The Looming Warden boss is similarly very cool and has a unique ‘driving’ mechanic on top of general fun factor
PvP distinct abilities and skills… essentially redesigning each class to be distinct and varied while also retaining some semblance of class identity in PvP is…
…a momentous feat which easily deserves…
…three positives just on the face of it
The final solo instance of the Tower of Babil as we deal with Nerva and crew

Gameplay Negatives:

The launch of ARR, while understandable, was honestly unacceptably bad
…good luck finding the option you want in the extensive, badly organized, sometimes badly labeled options menu
There is an obtuseness to the auction house menu which really has to be experienced to understand
Forced single player questing (especially MSQ)…
…which is easily the worst aspect of the entire game
Camera zoom out issue (especially on larger enemies and encounters)
ARR specifically has long, empty stretches of no music at night time out in the zones
…this is such a long term, irritating issue it gets a second negative
The costs for fast travel are, frankly, unnecessary and needlessly punishing on lower level players
The lack of proper trial or try-out of classes means you have no real way to know what you like before sinking arduously long periods of time into leveling first
The game forces you to unlock almost everything… which is essentially excessive handholding tutorialization, which even that would be fine if not for the total lack of option therein (no skipping, no choice to say “this isn’t my first MMO” or “this is an alt”)
The in game store is probably the most benign I’ve ever seen… but it’s still there, and it’s still microtransactions
The game removes your abilities when synched down in level, which is honestly quite awful for so many reasons (lots of content is below max level, removing abilities changes how you play the class and in some cases actively removes mechanics, etc.)…
…easily making this a second negative worthy
The ARR Relic is so bad I literally cannot summarize it…
…so instead I will just give it a second negative and move on
…no, three negatives. Screw those quests
The jankiness of dungeons and how limited they are and function is kind of weird (no way to replace people easily, can’t swap roles in mid dungeon, can’t access certain functionality while in dungeon, etc.)
There’s a bit of seconds in minutes problem in the overworld and travel design in ARR, with walking (and occasionally sprinting) just taking very long across big, empty tracks of nothing
The padding of the interaction bar
The game has a very inconsistent leveling curve for alt classes, with how many tools you have and the pace thereof varying wildly from level range to level range
The pre-Titan quests have many issues. Massive pacing and difficult curve issues, entirely too much straight up walking across a huge swath of uninteresting terrain
In general, the actual gameplay of the MSQuests in ARR are bland at best and actively time wasting at worse
The Unending Journey is… really terribly laid out and actively aggravating to find the cutscenes you want
Unskippable cutscenes… in the MSQQ
Aurum Vale is visually disinteresting, has actively bad trash encounter design, and has boring (at best) bosses
The second boss of Stone Vigil (Hard) is bad in every way. It’s badly designed vehicle mechanics on top of janky controls and even if you do it all right it’s a bad combination of boring and incredibly easy to wipe on
Halatali is honestly not great. It has entirely too much trash in entirely too spread out areas and its bosses are not just boring, but have paling mechanics
The entire pre-Garuda quest arc has long, sloggy areas that are irritating to maneuver through with high level, difficult mobs to deal with
The Sunken Temple of Qarn has multiple actually unexplained mechanics (bees, bosses) and does nothing to mitigate these issues
Dzamael Darkhold… sucks. It has poorly explained mechanics, irritating trash and boss design, and actively trolling design (roaming eye, standing in crystal near aoe, etc.)
Wanderer’s Palace has several issues with not tutorializing trash mechanics or boss mechanics, but worse than that most of the bosses aren’t interesting or fun
Pharos Sirius is probably the worst dungeon in ARR. A big, long, irritating slog through frustrating trash with too much health that hits too hard, first boss is one big irritation fest, second boss is entirely too obtuse, third boss is a speed bump, fourth boss is vanilla…
The Third Turn of First Coil of Bahamut is… not good. It’s trash, it’s easy trash, it’s mandatory, it offers literally nothing, it takes too long, and its layout is badly designed
The Fifth Turn of First Coil of Bahamut can go to hell, between binary difficulty and bad callouts
The First Turn of Second Coil has a bit of mechanic bloat with some inconsistent indicators which just makes it all a big mess
As much as I enjoy it, the Nael fight has some very serious binary difficulty issues, and absolutely no margin for error
As with WoW, the Coils is a form of locking mandatory, main story behind what is effectively ‘hard mode’
Ampador Keep has several issues with it. Visually, lighting, boring bosses, knock-down-out-of-fight problem
The (mandatory) unlock quests to access CT can go to hell. Entirely too much backtracking and no real gameplay
Squadrons… suck. The AI is pants-on-head stupid, it’s grindy as hell, even with full buffs dungeons just take too long, and the related mechanics are barely worth it
The La Noscea side quests are, at absolute best, boring wastes of time
The Thanalan side quests are no better
The fact that the quest tracker can only track 5 quests at a time sucks on several levels
The Gridanian quests just… suck, even more than the other zones…
…to the point of being a second negative
The Mor Dhona side quests… suck. They’re already the usual not-good variety, but then you add in a stupid amount of back and forth backtracking and it’s even worse
The inventory system has several… several issues, but really the worst by far is how limited it is in terms of crafting and the ridiculous inventory problem
So while the inventory itself isn’t really that bad… the related itemization bloat problem is a serious problem
The daily limitation of only being able to do 12 dailies is bad on several levels, literally artificially lengthening how long any given rep will be to raise
The Ixal quests in particular deserve special mention for being just… bad daily quests…
…being irritating, long, boring, and cumbersome to do
There’s weird, awful, and awkward limitations with the 1-30 classes and doing NG+ with them and related issues
The Marauder 1-30 quest has some really boring quests to begin with, but is made much worse via some of the worst ‘go here go there’ padding I’ve seen in ARR
The Rogue 1-30 quests have a bit too much combat but, far worse, way way too much padding and backtracking (mandatory Hide quests, unclear objectives, and sending you all over the place)
Casting pushback just… sucks. It can go on too long but, most importantly, too much damage while casting can literally just interrupt your cast
The Archer 1-30… really sucks. Bad quest locations with irritating quest objectives making the whole thing awful to play through
WHM 30-50 is some legitimately bad quest design. Zoom around across the entire continent to go to one dangerous area or another to interact with one thing before moving on
MNK 30-50 has the same quest design problem WHM did (arguably worse)
BRD 30-50 has the same issues but even worse, doing the ‘put quest objects behind high level, dangerous areas because screw you’ problem
White Mage 1-50 starts bad and crawls its way up to mediocre
Dragoon 1-50 has really bad ability placement (first AoE at 40… no second AoE at all), dull combos, and none of its core features outside of the jumps
Paladin 1-50 is serviceable, but suffers from two major flaws; It lacks viscerality and it is boooring
Black Mage 1-50 is just plain awful. It commits every sin of game design; it’s boring, it looks bad, it feels bad (immobile turret gameplay), and it lacks cool factor…
…equaling two negatives total
WAR 30-50 is easily the worst of the job quests so far. Long trips to distant, irritating areas to reach with lots of enemies to avoid or fight through, forcing you to equip the items, having to warp around Costa Del Sol for half of it, just… bad…
…earning a second negative
Ninja 30-50 has some of the usual issues and some real padding problems
Snowcloak is not great dungeon. Simple mechanics with poor trash and irritating terrain problems with a bad, irritating, repetitive song
The Nabriales fight is not a good fight. It has excessively simple mechanics that are still binary difficulty, and… that’s it. That’s all it’s got… except also being an HP Barrier boss
The decision to lock substantial meat quests behind no marker or signifier whatsoever is honestly really bad design
One…
…two…
…and three negatives for general quest padding design
Aggregate: Aggregate negative for Pharos // Haukke Manor (hard) has a few issues, but it’s not super bad // Haltali Hard isn’t bad it’s just… kinda boring
The Palace of the Dead has… issues. It’s entirely too sloggy, and the difficulty is very binary (you’re either fine or you’re dead)…
…and the interface and interactions therewith are clunky at best, especially with the nature of its ‘save’ system
Aether currents. They’re not the worst system, they’re not the best, but they make the critical flaw of locking behind the most useful traveling tool (flight) behind having effectively finished the zone
Coerthas West
Seconds in minutes quest design
Forced single player questing (especially MSQ)…
…which is easily the worst aspect of the entire game
The unlock problem continues (literally can’t go to certain zones, or find vendors…)
The Heavensward Relic quest is certainly better than the ARR one, but that doesn’t make it good, and it’s still a nice long slow boring grind
The Alexander 1 fight is just… you get what they were going for, but the fixate mechanic has issues and the massive delay between the add death and their puddle spawning is a bit eh, especially given how punishing it is to fail
Alexander 2 isn’t a great fight. Neat idea, awful execution, and worst of all it ends up just being boring
Alexander 4 is a good fight in mechanics but entirely too high in damage with way, way too much damage going out from everything… and thus is overtuned like much of Alexander
Alexander 9 is unfortunately another victim of the ‘needs a dungeon journal’ type of boss
Ultimately Alexander 11 just kind of sucks. It has lots of neat mechanics but several are badly explained (or not at all) and that song can suck it
The camera issue continues to show up periodically
As expected, the Void Ark is not a good raid. It’s not that bad (not really) but it’s a lot of boring and a lot of not-good, with unengaging trash and boss encounters in a dull grey surrounding
Weirdly, Dun Scaith wasn’t good either. Too long, too much HP on the last boss, and worst of all multiple examples of the dungeon journal problem
PLD 50-60 continues its trend of being the bland white bread of classes
The game removes your abilities when synched down in level, which is honestly quite awful for so many reasons (lots of content is below max level, removing abilities changes how you play the class and in some cases actively removes mechanics, etc.) (continued problem)
The Western Coerthas sidequests… really, really suck. Far too much pointless backtracking across a huge, vast, irritating zone (especially if you don’t have flight)…
…earning a second negative
Similarly, Dravanian Forelands side quests have the same general problem (less so), where they have a single quest chain of note which just involves an enormous amount of backtracking
Churning Mists sidequests aren’t as tedious as some others, but they’re substantially more frustrating, with a lot of ‘hide and go seek’ in complex areas with lots of verticality and no real guidelines… and they pull this trick multiple times
…a second negative for the Churning Mists endless chaining…
…and the nonsense pattern of quest distribution
Heavensward’s overworld design is honestly terrible. The zones are far too spread out with far too much irritation in traversal (even with flying in some cases), and with far too little distribution of aether crystals…
…leading to…
…three negatives
The ARM 50-60 quest is easily the worst of the already-bad crafter chains
Crafter backtracking is ridiculous, and almost all of them do it…
…leading to a full…
…three negatives
The backtracking in the Dravanian Hinterlands is honestly some of the worst it’s been in the entire game…
…earning a second negative
Neverreap has some serious issues, with irritating trash and aggravating boss design (including wasps, too much HP)
The decision to lock substantial meat quests behind no marker or signifier whatsoever is honestly really bad design
One…
…two…
…and three negatives for general quest padding design
The Roulette Problem begins. To explain in brief; The game rewards doing a roulette regardless of the roulette selected. This means people are de-invested as part of the mechanism of roulettes as a whole, and have a method to ensure they only get the lower level queues (by removing gear), and no built-in incentive not to. This problem only grows worse as expansions move on and later raids and dungeons become more complex, involved, and (most importantly) time consuming… for no additional benefit. Worst of all, this problem is easily solvable in a lot of different directions and no effort is being expended to do so
Raubahn Extreme (bad launch issues)
The solo Zenos fight in Rhalgr’s Reach has many gameplay issues with it, not the least of which being it’s a supposed-to-lose fight where (if you lose) you… fail and have to start the (lengthy) instance over again
Aether Currents continue to be bad
Low level ability removal issue
The second solo Zenos fight continues the trend of bad game design. It’s a supposed to lose fight where if you lose you start over, it’s a long fight (easily 5 minutes), it pulls a ‘gotcha’ second health bar, and finally and worst of all he pulls an ‘I win’ at the last minute (Beatrix Syndrome)…
…earning a second negative
The Ruby Sea sidequests have improved in some ways, but the zone’s design makes doing them a colossal chore, especially given the significant amount of backtracking involved in how they chain
Second negative for Ruby Sea backtracking
As usual, The Peaks sidequests have a truly egregious amount of backtracking (especially in the latter half)…
…second negative to The Peaks
The camera zoom out issue continues…
…and, honestly, is a more persistent issue than before
Aggregate: The ‘stealth’ mission in Kugane has several issues (no real tools, no real indicators, no real destination, and entirely too easy to have to start over) // The ‘find the sheep’ quest, and ‘find in circle’ quests in general, can suck it
Unlock issue as usual
Forced single player questing (especially MSQ)…
…as usual
Padding issue of interaction bar
Seconds in minutes issues periodically
This is a weird one but locking the awesomeness and fun of the ExDeath and Kefka Savage fights behind… y’know, Savage difficulty
New Game + and only having one save slot
Larboard.
PLD at 70… CONTINUES to suck, with barely different rotations and STILL lacking basic utility
DRG 60-70 quests kinda… suck, lots of backtracking and little else across large swaths of irritation
The BLM 60-70 quests
BLM at 70 is noticeably absent several skills that it really should have and feels incomplete
Heaven On High’s interface and interactions therewith are clunky at best, especially with the nature of its ‘save’ system
AST at 70 really has too many buttons, and some… oddities to it
The Doma Reconstruction weekly gating content sucketh
The Ivalice quests’ needless, pointless backtracking for wine
One…
…two…
…and three negatives for general quest padding design
As per usual, the Steppes sidequests just kind of suck in backtracking and design
Acquisition of Blue Magic sucks. Forced synching and related problems for bosses, and low percentage chance of learning, plus you have to be alive
The MIN quests suck. Arduous and time sensitive
The BTN quests suck. Arduous and time elongated
The FIS quests suck! Gah!
The Burn has some reasonable stuff to it, but the Mist Dragon fight can go to hell. It has some nice mechanics but the tuning on the final ‘mist’ phase is entirely too harsh, being very difficult (or impossible depending) to see where to avoid, no time to correct if you don’t see it coming, and the hit is way too punishing when it does
Several instances of problems with long solo sessions or lack of mid-mission checkpointing in solo instances
The Roulette Problem gets worse…
…and is actually probably one of the worst in the series…
…given both Ivalice and Omega raids being in the bundle
Only doing the MSQ will result in hitting level walls multiple times throughout the expansion
Ocean Fishing is entirely, entirely too dependant upon RNG to really go somewhere with it, to the point where it’s actively 4 layers deep of RNG (no exaggeration)
The first fight with Ran’jit is bad in every way. Too much HP, disinteresting mechanics, long and boring, and he pulls an I-win button at the end
The first Ran’jit fight is also a supposed-to-lose fight… where, if you lose… you have to start it over
Navigating the Crystarium honestly sucks with both verticality and the inability to jump off ledges at multiple points
Eden 12 is actually a great fight, except that you have to go through the same lengthy cutscene each time you fail and it’s right towards the beginning, after the easy stuff. No checkpoint, no skipping, and it absolutely destroys the tempo (story and game wise)
New Game + has some… serious jank. Minimal save slots, a multitude of basic actions (like the Journal, or REPAIRING) that you can’t do while in it, and its… weird in how it’s implemented
One…
…two…
…and three negatives for general quest padding design
The Unlock Problem persists as usual
The Ronkan ruins is… awful. No mid mission checkpointing and binary failstate
The Trolley section is, being kind, boring padding quest design… some of the worst in Shadow
Forced single player questing (especially MSQ)…
…as usual
The sidequests in Rak’tika greatwoods are very frustrating in navigation and quest layout
The bloom overglow of the initial Il Mheg is irritating and literally headache inducing, add onto that the frustration of navigating and questing in the literally-hard-to-see visuals
Screw weekly turn ins (as usual)
And finally, the final Ran’jit fight is pointless, dumb, padded, and boring
Camera zoom out issue continues its tyrannical reign
Low level ability removal issue
The in-between quests of the Nier raids are padding central, forcing you to go to Point B via 5 separate points, with entirely too much backtracking across areas without fast travel
…also they require you to walk through the entire area entirely too often, which is, yes, another backtracking issue
SCH at 80 is really hampered by a lot of little but multitudinous issues that feel like artifacts of older, more out-dated game design
Generic runback for bosses
AST at 80 continues to have a button bloat problem
The Roulette Problem gets worse with each expansion…
…earning a second negative at this range
The Ruby Weapon fight has a lot of issues. The tuning is a bit off, the visuals are actively detrimental, the music sucks
E3 nevertheless has some problems with some of its attacks being difficult to see and very punishing (no less than 3 distinct attacks that instant-kill)
E4 is entirely too punishing, with potential issues with snapshotting, it being extraordinarily easy to die instantly in multiple ways, and a bit of a dungeon journal issue…
…earning a second negative
E11 has a bit too much trial and error with nothing really indicating what works how in… any of his mechanics really
The Firmament’s interface issues are honestly pretty bad
The Diadems, while useful, are dull as sin and exceptionally grindy
The FSH Mean quests, uh… suck
The physical dps role quest is literally bugged, the NPCs screwing up and failing the mission… more than once
CLL’s inconsistent scaling made worse by inconsistent timing
Dalriada’s inconsistent scaling made worse by inconsistent timing
Delebrum’s sloggy nature and inconsistent scaling
Unfortunately Bozja is still fairly limited, gives you hardly any Mettle (which is required to advance), and (like the Diadem) is grrrriiiiiindy
Twice Come Ruin honestly sucks so much and I hate absolutely everything about it… but… there are much, much worse mechanics, and ultimately my main issue with it is it’s too binary, when there’s so many ways to make it more gradient
While I’m at it, the health of the bosses is entirely too high, even accounting for lost actions and the echo buff
The Relic quest is badly designed at several levels, requiring either excessively grindy activities to have a chance at progression, or doing content that’s effectively abandoned
Aggregate: The Thancred v. Ran’jit fight goes on just a little bit too long // E6 has a few minor issues which pull it a bit down // E7’s binary fail-state on several mechanics // Finally, E10 has a few issues which keep it from being… good, and not much to offset it
Even though there’s not much they could really do about it, honestly the launch status was unacceptably bad
The binary failstate of the ‘follow the girl’ quest along with other related padding issues
There are several issues that drag down the de-powered segment; Lack of mid mission checkpoints, ease of failure (any magitek that spots you is essentially game over), and issues with navigation and stealth indicators
Bestway Burrows is entirely too large with too few mechanisms in place to facilitate movement early on
The tail Urianger mission is actually worse than the earlier one in Garlemald
Aether currents. They’re not the worst system, they’re not the best, but they make the critical flaw of locking behind the most useful traveling tool (flight) behind having effectively finished the zone
Forced single player questing (especially MSQ)…
…as usual
Camera zoom out issue
Low level ability removal issue
The Trust system is excessively grindy (having to do a minimum of 5 runs of just the first dungeon, at around 30-50 minutes each, just to be able to do a second dungeon) plus you can’t level them all at once, so you have to do even more runs to level everyone
The terrible, terrible decision to replace the zone music with a short loop that grows old very fast over a long, long section of game is frankly awful…
…and earns a second negative for sheer duration
The ‘Sage Council’ quest is actually terrible game design. Massive explorative area, vaguely labeled, with no pattern to layout, with fake-outs…
…earning it a second negative for pure unadulterated padding in the worst way
It’s unfortunate but true that every zone shares the same problem; too large, too empty, too padding for not having fast movement and/or flying. Thus, Sharlayan…
…Thavnair…
…Garlemald…
…Zone 4…
…and Zone 5 all share the same issue
The ‘tail the kid in Garlemald’ quest is the same problems with the other ‘tail’ quests but even worse as the kid ‘jukes’ you… more than once
Zone 4 has some very bad pathing / terrain issues on foot
The Unlock Issue continues
Runback negative comes back
The final Zenos fight is entirely too padded given its placement and purpose
The fishing Studium quests honestly suck. The RNG involved is silly, even when doing everything right and using the right abilities, and on top of that it takes way, way, way too long…
…earning it two negatives
The game has an annoying tendency to repeat tutorial messages way, way past when it should… in short it does so every single time it pops up
The exceptionally bad indicators of which quests are which, especially on the map (sometimes it chains directly, sometimes it does not, you can talk to everyone or actually do every quest to see but otherwise there’s no real cohesive methodology)…
…and frankly this is so aggravating that it puts me off doing them at all
Crystalline content interface issues including can’t queue in a group
Aggregate: Padding issues with the last SGE boss // Visibility issues with Ra-La in The Dead Ends

Star Trek Online

The beginning sucks (as is true with all MMOs) and the gameplay is wonky as hell, but the core nugget of Trek is there and it’s awesome. I highly recommend playing Federation aligned and skipping as much of the early stuff as you’re able, as the story doesn’t really get good until the Solenae arc.
Total Story Score: +76
Total Gameplay Score: -18
Golden Number: 90.31
Cheats: No
Total Play Time: Many Days // 804.00 Hours
Time Reviewed: 7-31-2022

Spoiler Pluses and Minuses +

Story Positives:

NPC Set Dressing is good in general
The TOS Intro is simple but good, digs into where STO shines best (continuity!), and sets you up for what’s to come quite well
Temporal Agent Chekov and his mission are simple, but good stuff, with some good moments and nice threading of the Babel episode
The final TOS mission does some good tying up of several threads, great foreshadowing, and ultimately serves as a nice cap to things
ESD is… decent, it looks very much like ESD should look, with good usage of NPCs and the ships in dock
The Klingon mission Manhunt is actually pretty good in general; Good showcasing of Klingon fake-honor, good showcasing of how corrupt the Empire is under J’mpok, and the big scene with the Bird is fantastic
Space skyboxes
Special praise to the early TOS missions for putting real and good effort into making everything actually look very early TOSy
Alpha (Klingon mission) is actually pretty good, sets up some good moments, has a few choices, and isn’t face palmingly stupid (a high bar for Klingons)
Afterlife (Klingon mission) despite pulling the ‘is it real or not’ crap, is still a great mission; good writing, good showcase of Klingon culture (literal or otherwise), and is honestly a pretty good connection and conclusion point for the Klingon story arc
The initial storytelling, animation, and some scenes and battles make sense, and the inclusion of Janeway actually helps quite a bit, with the new Federation Intro
Spectres mission, What Lies Beneath is genuinely horrifying and uses its concepts (a broken murderous hologram) to good effect
Spectres mission, Everything Old Is New, is a good contrast to the previous horrifying deathdoom
Spectres mission, Night of the Comet is a decent payoff to both Drake and the Devidians, and while the nerve tonic is aggravating it was nice to see Scotty in action
The Spectres build up mission is great (and I love the Omega Particle joke)
Bajor is neat, but I love the effort put into Mirror Bajor
I love the plot element and story sequencing of the 2800. Okay we’ve got a breather episode, cool, dealing with the Borg, cool, oh crap a gigantic fleet of Dominion show up and it’s the missing 2800 from DS9, and now we have a huge problem… well crap
The visual presentation of and general ideas around Boldly They Rode are great, and (narratively) walking on DS9’s surface to infiltrate it is great
The Romulan opening cinematic does a good job of immediately putting yourself in the mindset of the post-Hobus Romulans
And the Romulan Intro is probably one of my favorites, despite the obviousness of it it’s still well executed and enjoyable to boot
The initial Romulan story arc about struggling to get a crew together, help local refugees, and barely fighting back against the Elachi and the Tal Shiar is legitimately better constructed and generally more interesting than honestly the rest of the content to-date
I love the New Romulus finding, its connection to future arcs, and its connection to Romulan (and Vulcan) past
And finally, the Khitomer conference is a great mission; Excellent writing for the Klingon representatives (and captain), perfect understanding of the cultures involved, and some Babylon 5 Effect for Sela’s introduction to the narrative
The Charva arc and revisit of Virinat is pretty neat
Tal Shiar arc has some pretty big flaws but the payoff of Taris, Hakeev, and Sela is fantastic
Everything about the Mind Game is fantastic. The horror of it, the fact that you’re forced to (and can fight it but… can’t succeed), just the whole thing
Continuing the nightmarish horror, the entirety of Installation 18 is a great narrative payoff to the mind numbing dulldom of Nimbus 3
The Colisseum mission has its issues but that initial setup is legitimately excellent, deserving its own plus individually
The Romulan finale and its implications about the iconians, the final death of Hakeev, and Sela being (temporarily) removed from the board
The visuals and layout and styling of New Romulus is excellent
I love the actual ‘New Romulus’ arc itself; the last dying gasp of the Tal Shiar, the Hirogen and their willingness to fight whomever, and the slow reveal of the Dewans
The big reveal of the iconian gateway, still functional and related to the fate of the Dewans, now in the hands of the Republic…
Sphere of Influence has some good build up with the gateway and the slow, creepy reveal of the Solenae and how much they’re already planning…
…but the way they showcase their intel area, and the Omega bombshell, plus the implied politics of the entire situation, really nail it
A Step Between Stars deserves a positive literally just for the visual storytelling of that damned star and how terrifying it is
Continuing, the progression through the station and the reveal of what happened to the Jenolan Sphere was a great build up…
…leading to the big revealing twist with Cooper, and the unveiling of the Undine threat
The initial setup of Surface Tension is already awesome, with great moments with a lot of people (Garak, the xindi, Shon)
Surface Tension continues to do some awesome stuff, mostly with the destruction of ESD as well as the interactions with Cooper
The big reveal of the Iconians, finally, and the tilting of the arc is just… such a great moment
The entire mindscape with Tuvok is delightful and very well executed
I love the simplicity of helping the talaxians out with local, small scale issues as they prepare to colonize a new world
Capture the Flag has some good moments, but really working and interacting with the crew is what sells it
Dragon’s Deceit and the big reveal of the bluegills is fun in general, but the spy motif works amusingly well
Alliances defies expectations of its Voyager episode and instead is actually good, with several neat micro-stories of how we rope several sides together for the coming conflict
The final Vaadwaur mission (Takedown) is suitably well presented, a good payoff for the Delta arc, and the reveal about Gaul is exactly what it should be
Dust To Dust is excellent. Despite my… issues with the Kobali and their stupidity (gonna have words with ‘em, I swear!) I do love what they do with them, and the first Harry, and tying it all in to the vaadwaur and the Delta arc in general…
…easily earning a second positive
There are individual exceptions which will get their own positives, so for now…
…we will give…
…three positives for visual storytelling
Similarly the game does… decent doodads, earning one positive
The Babylon 5 Effect in this game is real
Excellent and consistent foreshadowing…
…earning a full…
…three positives
Obisek is a well written and engaging character, competent but still willing to bite back while still remaining diplomatic
The relevance of the PC in events honestly elevates my enjoyment overall
Tuvok is fantastic, big shock, but they use him to good effect
Neelix is excellent, not just for his usage and presentation but for absolutely nailing him and (surprise surprise) avoiding him being annoying
Seven isn’t quite as good as some of the others, but she’s still enjoyable and still manages good character moments re: the vaadwaur
The Doctor is The Doctor, played to perfection and generally excellent
Harry Kim is finally given a chance to shine, and despite the fact that he got positives in his arc he deserves a bonus one for the excellents of his performance
Which is a good time to talk about the voice acting of the original cast of Voyager. While some of the brought-back actors sway in and out of quality, the Voyager team just nails it
This is a good time to talk continuity. The game keeps legitimately excellent track of what it’s already done…
…earning a full…
…three positives for Internal Continuity
This is further added on by the big one. I have honestly never seen a game do this good with an external work, using external continuity to fantastic effect…
…so it’s not just three…
…positives, but actually…
…I’m giving a bonus fourth positive for not just the external continuity being excellent and adding to the work, but for just how well STO nails that particular variety of ‘here’s a one off alien from one episode of one show, and let’s make something of them’ that they do so, so well
The big moments of Uneasy Moments are good, though they do have issues
Blood of Ancients is a game changer; The massive loss, the erasure of the Preservers
House Pegh gets right back to being awesome, with a fun infiltration and some actually brain-having Klingons
…but bonus points must be given for Kahless. He went out like a boss, knew what he was getting into, retained his honor by challenging T’Ket, and held his own for several seconds against the foe
Time In A Bottle brings back the Krenim in a big way (foreshadowed earlier) and gives us some good actual exposition about the iconians (also our first time really seeing them as a group), plus Nog is awesome
Butterfly has a lot of issues, really, but it’s a fun episode by itself, especially the what-if scenarios
Okay so I have, have to give three positives for this because I absolutely love this. The fact that the majority of STO is in timeline 1, which is NOT the timeline of the shows, is amazing… the fact that we do an incursion, damning the Tuterians into becoming the Sphere Builders, which causes not only the events of Enterprise but also the entire Temporal Cold War, is fantastic …
…so this single plot point…
…earns a full three positives
Ancient Iconia is brilliant, just visually
The closed timeloop of Sela and the Iconians isn’t as brilliant as their previous temporal outing but it’s still a damned good one
I should further mention that I absolutely love how… how very Star Trek it is to make peace with the Iconians rather than to defeat them
Sela manages to be a surprisingly interesting character, with her own arc and her own… moments, up and down
I really like how we spend the entire Iconian War losing and barely holding on
Nog is Nog and he’s as awesome as ever, and it was great to have him
The Temporal Ambassador mission is problematic, but is still creative, fun, and a good way to turn things on its head
The general arc wielding of the Yesterday’s War episodes is enjoyable
Survivor is well acted, emotionally powerful, and a great final, true sendoff for Tasha and Sela…
…making it one of the more powerful individual quests in the entire game, earning it two positives easily
Sunrise is, finally, properly, the post-Legion story arc we needed; Almost entirely focused on exploration and puzzle solving, with enough hints and connections to the Temporal War to make it interesting
Stormbound has a couple of glaring flaws but is a nice way to arc weld several temporal plots together
Ragnarok has a lot of issues, but Chekov is legit, as is Scotty, and it was nice to see the conclusion of Noye and the final results of our meddling as well as the creation of the Prime Timeline
Echoes of Light is awesome on many levels. It’s the breather episode we needed after the Iconian arc, while also still helping to establish several future plot points, and finally resolving the fate of K-13
Rodek and Tony Todd are awesome as always
Kuumaarke is just such a breath of fresh air, great original character who manages to be positive and energetic without being annoying or irritating
Further her voice actress nails it so hard, showcasing a lot of range and nuance in a very short period of time
Another bonus positive as we keep getting further into the game for the quality of the skyboxes
Mirrors and Smoke is awesome. Great, great visuals, great storytelling, surprisingly dark but not too dark…
…just some lovely stuff all around, easily worth two positives
Brushfire brings back Kurn, which is awesome, ends Torg, which is awesome, and restores Martok, which is mega awesome
The reveal of the germanium eggs is a decent moment, and sparks a turn in the arc
The reveal of the Hur’q is honestly pretty awesome by itself
And the cliffhanger! Odo being back, and with just one line; “We need to talk.”
The Renegade’s Regret is a great quest really, tying things up nicely while also showing how horrible the Tzenkethi really were
The Victory Is Life cinematic really throws a lot of characterization for Odo into it, while setting up the stage for what is to come brilliantly
The jem’hadar intro is short, but sweet, doing a lot with very little time and sending tons of foreshadowing hints everywhere
DS9’s revamped interior is excellent; great doodad usage, showcasing of the station, and of course a nice place to just chill
Storm Clouds Gather is very, very talky, but it’s good talky. A whole lot of catching up on a whole lot of characters
Armistice is simple, but effective, and a lovely way to tie up loose ends and free Kira up to join the ‘party’
The big confrontation scene between Odo, Kira, and Garak is absolutely fantastic. Well acted, well portrayed, very Trek; dark, but with purpose and hidden idealism. It’s a massive, quadrant-level stakes moment and yet it’s all about the personal interactions of these three people…
…and so it earns…
…a full three positives
The Search is well acted and well presented and honestly just good damned stuff in general
Doomed To Repeat is just… great. The revelations about the Fek’iri, the Dominion involvement in history, Weyoun’s intervention, Kira and Odo’s dynamic, and of course the big shocker…
…all earning two positives
The entire Gamma arc has some great foreshadowing
And further, really builds itself up properly but quietly, lot of Babylon 5 Effect going around
Lek walking away from the explosion is legitimately so amazing that, even knowing it was coming, it still made me grin
The references and general humor of the Quark’s Lucky Seven is legit by itself
The banter between characters is, for one of the only times in the entire game, actually quite good across the DS9 crew
Quark talking down T’Ket is another type of awesome, but it’s still quite awesome
The general cleverness and tight writing of Quark’s Lucky Seven is just fantastic
Tenebris Torquent has cheesy but enjoyable atmosphere and general tone and vibe
Similarly, the lowkey payoffs of plot threads (the admiral, the backpack, the calling device) all work very nicely
But the big reveal about the female changeling, her role in the Dominion, is a hell of a twist that turns the entire Dominion on its head
Dukan’Rex goes through a wonderful arc across the Gamma arc, as he slowly questions, considers, and develops
Home kinda… sucks honestly, except for that lovely outro which serves as a great coda
Odo is just amazing, showing the layers of desperation, fear, care, concern, and his finding a place as both a founder and a good person…
…so two positives for him
Kira, similarly, absolutely knocks it out of the park, being one of the main characters throughout and being used to great effect…
…also earning a second positive
A bonus positive just for Nana Visitor, who is legitimately a fantastic actress throughout
Weyoun is exactly what he needs to be, broken and insane while supporting his founder
Bashir is excellent, and it’s great to hear Siddig again
Quark is very Quark, retaining his humor while also his sense of gravity
Rom doesn’t have as much of a role, but he’s still awesome
Garak. Garak is perfect for this, being someone who’s enjoying himself immensely while never taking his role and duties anything less than completely seriously, and staying a half a step ahead of most everyone else as he goes…
…earning him a second positive
And Andrew Robinson also gets his own positive for managing the nuance, subtleties, and excellence in acting
Tilly is legit, thankfully
Okay so I have… issues with how they just create life all willy nilly, but Anthony Rapp does a pretty good job with Stamets, not just in general but in distinguishing between Stamets Hologram and Stamets 2
Credit where it’s due, the Mycelial Realm actually looks and acts pretty legit, and tying it in to the Elachi works better than it should
The Discovery Patrols are actually pretty decent overall, brief but fun snippets with Stamets and crew
The big cavalry moment of all the Enterprises coming back, even though it was to sell the 10th Anniversary Bundle, is still pretty awesome
Credit to Seven in the entire 10th Anniversary sequence. She nails her character and her role quite well
Madran’s bit in the Klingon Stupid Arc was legitimately enjoyable and honestly amusing
Okay, I’ll give you this one, Gowron is great here. O’Reilley does a great job of the role and his presence honestly elevates an otherwise terrible story
I do love the way we out-think Cooper and get him eaten by his own ship

Story Negatives:

Cutscenes are hilariously bad in their storyboarding, animation, and blocking
Voice acting varies pretty wildly in overall quality
This is a good time to re-iterate the voice acting problems because holy crap. Between dull takes, readings that literally ruin lines, and repeats and bugs…
Daniels and his convenience stupidity
The gameplay and story segregation is pretty stark in this one, easily some of the worst I’ve ever seen, with events in lore having no real connection to actual gameplay…
…like us taking on dozens of superior ships and entire fleets regardless of logic or sense…
…and killing literally thousands of troops by ourselves without incident, all while being a normal officer in cutscenes
Klingon intro is… pretty stupid on several levels, to the point of being aggravating, made all the worse by how stupid evil we are
Worf is honestly… bad in the early Klingon stuff (and absent later)
The Klingon Mission Heir We Go Again stumbles over itself in its stupidity; the giant holes in security, the sudden turn-on-a-dime switch for Worf, the romulan Tal Shiar agent being mind bogglingly stupid, the aforementioned Tal Shiar giving away the identity of his co conspirator and then on top of that our refusal to acknowledge it
The Mars, Bringer of War mission is an old, crap mission and it shows… revamped to play better, but the story remains disjointed, clearly from back when the KDF wasn’t even a real faction, and disconnected from reality on so many levels it plays like a bad TOS episode
The Federation Intro is really, really, really aggressively stupid. Detailing it would take quite a while, but there’s a lot of nonsensical, disjointed, or otherwise plot hole elements throughout, and that’s before you even include the Borg…
…because the friggin’ Borg being the intro villain makes no sense on essentially any level, and they do it terribly
There’s a weird game / story segregation problem with how it does ranks, because we (very very quickly) get promoted to Fleet Admiral, while still acting like a captain, for no real good reason or purpose
The B’vat arc in its current, gutted state starts too late and literally only lasts two episodes, so no build up and no pay off, and it sucks
Pretty much the entire Cardassian arc as is honestly sucks. It starts off with the True Way, instantly shifts into the Terrans, bounces over to the Alpha Jem’Hadar only to immediately abandon them in favor of Laas. The chopped bits make you feel like you’re reading a book with pages torn out, which is appropriate, because you are
The writing and specific moments of the 2800 plot honestly suck
The entire Cold War arc is so bland it drifts into bad
I hate to mention it but during the Taris and Mind Game arc, there are bits of writing and voice acting that simply do not work
The Romulan finale cutscenes honestly kind of sucked, failing to capture what was actually going on the entire time
The Voth Fortress Ship is so, so dumb on so many levels… it’s a setting breaker, threat of the week nonsense, but worst of all it just doesn’t fit in Trek in general
Vaadwaur overblown as a big quadrant-level threat… even if it makes sense with their iconian backers, it still hurts the entire arc
There’s some weird dialogue issues in the Iconian arc, along with weird repetition
Delta Flight… weirdly sucks. The dialogue is bad and stilted, the voice acting is subpar at best and laughable at worst, the whole mission is just bleh
So let’s go ahead and mention something here; Butterfly is total nonsense, but what makes it negative worthy is how Jarok and everyone else are all gung ho about doing their first incursion
The Yesterday’s War episodes are horribly misplaced. They start without preamble or explanation as though you know what’s going on, and feel like filler despite being about huge scale death dooms, it’s weird
Let’s get this out of the way. The way they… use time travel in the Future Proof arc is so elasticy and so loosey goosey for the sake of the game that it’s ridiculous
Okay so for the most part STO bypasses the cutscene incompetence problem but good lord, the temporal arc is stuffed with it
Ragnarok has a lot of issues, easily earning up to a negative for the frustrations throughout
Admiral Tzen-Tarrak is just evil. Any possible nuance and layer is torpedo’d by virtue of him being horrifically evil and enjoying it
The Hur’q are too strong. Them being a challenge for a beleaguered Alliance? Sure. Them pasting the Dominion? Uhhh…
Home… falls flat, in several ways; the directing, the voice acting, the non relevance, just… bleh
The DIS intro being copy paste of the Fed one does it no favors (or vice versa)
The Plausibility of the Possible is… weirdly bad. It’s very surface level and simplistic, stating a point and doing nothing with it, and this is on top of the other issues with it
Impossibility of Reason begins… really badly. The shuttle nonsense is insanity on every level, and us being on the shuttle is even stupider
Amna’s death scene was absolutely terrible. It could have actually worked but they wanted to have the big sacrifice goodbye and so instead a woman walks over, hits a bomb manually, then spends half a minute giving a tear felt goodbye before dying
Melodrama. Just… so much melodrama
The cutscene incompetence has always been there but it really starts to rear its ugly head in the Discovery stuff
The very existence of the Pahvo weapon is by itself a negative; a super weapon that can nuke whatever at near infinite range nearly perfectly… sure
This also ties into a problem STO has in general, but is worst here in the Discovery stuff; insisting that each new threat is some big galactic scale conflict
The… absolutely insane level of cutscene incompetence displayed on Pahvo really bothers me on so many levels
Did I mention the super weapon can also beam you anywhere instantly?
The plot point of murdering tons of people to allow other people (who are just as evil) to return home safely actively aggravates me
The Pahvo missions are… just bad. BILLIONS will die!
Oh and J’ula’s super weapon simply by using it repeatedly can wipe out all life, in all universes, everywhere… right
The… ridiculousness of the Mycelial Realm is its own problem, but creating life (Stamets) just to bypass a bridge without even really addressing it is… what?
The childish moralizing in the Measure of Morality quest honestly irritates me. It doesn’t matter that it’s in character, it’s still annoying
The Mo’Kai Virus is a macbook hacking an alien mothership…
…it’s so, so stupid on so many levels and I hate its stupid face
The Khitomer Discord mission is just… peppered with bad writing, idiocy, and character assassination
Where do all these Mo’Kai come from? Her and a couple ships got warped to the future but she has fleets (plural) at her disposal in the present
The central plot of the Klingon Civil War (that we are literally working for J’mpok against the rebel J’ula) irritates me on so many levels
The fact that J’mpok’s ‘I’m evil ha ha’ is treated like some big reveal is… insanity
The big swap and ‘twist’ of J’ula actually being good all along and the Hero and the Good Guy is honestly the worst thing to come out of this game. It flies in the face of logic, reason, good storytelling, development, and personal opinion…
…earning…
…three negatives
The Kai Leng field engulfing the captains as we leave Khitomer and making them all stupid
The fact that the story wants so badly to have this ‘desperate, on the run’ take because J’mpok declares us terrorists is so stupid on so many levels I had to stop and think about how to properly explain it
J’ula’s actress… sucks, which is made worse because she’s surrounded by better Klingon actors
The sudden near-total absence of the Alliance during the Klingon Stupid just adds all types of aggravation to it
The fact that the PC is an observer in J’ula’s story legitimately hurts the narrative on several levels; Ignoring the obvious facts that have their own negatives, it also doesn’t really do anything with her story, and hurts logic and reason by having us be her uber driver without having us have any impact on said narrative
T’kuuvma keeps being talked up like some great and venerable leader who’s super awesome and they just keep hammering it in so often it’s aggravating (ignoring the fact that T’kuuvma was Klingon Hitler for a second)
I have other issues with it but at the end of the day, the introduction of Grethor as a real, actual place we can go and grab someone’s soul to drag back into a clone and the entire affair is a huge example of underthought. No real effort or thought put into… the huge, huge implications this has, just nope let’s do it
J’ula is a freaking mary sue, one of the worst ones in Trek
The excessive emphasis on how amazing L’Rell is bothers me on every level, especially since it’s all told and none shown
The primary plot of ‘go to hell to recover the soul of someone to serve as a legend/advisor’ doesn’t work on either level because we have literal living legends with us and much, much better advisors…
…on top of the fact that we don’t need any help beating what’s left of J’mpok’s pathetic empire which (in addition to losing a gargantuan portion of its forces during the a-year-ago Iconian War) just lost its unity as most of the Houses all fractured and splintered off. There is NO reason to bother getting this woman and yet it’s the central plot of an entire episode
The absolute ass kissing going on about how amazing L’Rell is and how amazing J’Ula is is legitimately sickening, and that’s before you realize that a 150 year old ship and a no-name idiot calling for help is what unified the friggidy Klingons
The dialogue in the later Klingon missions is just not good, lots of repetition and stating the obvious and general empty text
The Outro to the Klingon arc is bad in general, just across the board
Special mention for the use of the reset button with the Klingon Empire in the wake of the entire story arc (about the Empire being on its way out) and the thematic and literal narrative core of the rest of STO (reforming and moving forwards to better ourselves… see the Romulans, Dominion, etc.)
L’Rell is just not salvaged by her actress. She is an awful character who is terribly positioned and takes over the Empire for no damned reason
J’ulu’s consistent usage of the Kai Leng field can go straight to hell

Gameplay Positives:

Music is mostly licensed stuff, but what’s there and is unique is good
The character creation has sliders, modular outfits, good presets, and variable based on starter…
…easily leading to…
…three positives for sheer quantity and quality
The TOS Intro is good for what it’s trying to do; it’s a solid tutorial for the basic systems of the game and has surprisingly good level design and layout to guide you where you’re doing and what
Game is exceptionally co-op friendly, allowing you to do roughly 98% of the entire game with a friend, in addition to scaling and team matching…
…earning a second positive
HUD rearrangement
ESD is reasonably well laid out, with the three main spokes all relatively close to each other and nicely knit
The massive, insane amount of build customization… is totally optional
Ship selection is insane…
…with so many hundreds of ships it’s hard to even properly summarize the variety on display here…
…easily earning a full three positives
Ship slots and the variety thereof is similarly excellent throughout
Weapons variety in terms of reach, range, special abilities, and damage type are similarly astonishingly varied and contribute enormously to the Build gameplay…
…easily earning…
…three positives
Sets are great, often offering good bonuses and being worth building around
Consoles are just as good and varied as weapons, and so earn the same…
…three…
…positives
Specs are a nice way to add some additional customization on top of everything else
Traits are mostly neat, and worthwhile on their own…
…but what really pushes this is the starship traits you get for leveling ships
Bridge Officers (BOFFs) and their extensive and expansive abilities serve as still further excellent build and customization…
…earning…
…three positives
Duty Officers (DOFFs) aren’t quite as extensive, but still can be used to great effect if carefully set up
The tailor customizations is some good, if not great, cosmetics… mostly hampered by its interface, but still excellent overall variety…
…earning two positives
The usage of shields in space as a form of layered customizations for ships
Usefulness and rewarding nature of reputations
Usefulness and rewardfulness of fleet gear
Endeavors are a nice way to encourage you to go out and do things, and are a nice account-bound reward system
The Klingon mission Manhunt is a bit brief but still enjoyable, nice little jaunts, visuals, and flow to it despite the size problems
Ground weapon variety is actually surprisingly good…
…especially when you consider the kit of, uhm, Kits
Salvaging and re-engineering is actually a pretty great system, very accessible even to new, casual, and leveling players
The Afterlife mission is a decent example of visuals, audio, and some (minor) gimmicky fights
The ‘synch to team leader’ level thing is a great way for people to help people group up and keep things fair and fun
Into The Hive is surprisingly good, with an actual boss fight with actual mechanics that are tutorialized through the stage and everything
The ability to replay missions infinitely and whenever is a very effective form of New Game +…
…honestly one of the better ones I’ve ever seen…
…and easily worth three positives (why aren’t more MMOs doing this?!)
Aggregate: The Kobyashi Maru is decent enough; it’s an arena, but the hazards and suffixes help // Azure Nebula is decent enough // As is the Nukara hold the line mission
Borg space missions are still generally fun even after all these years
Mind Game is a simple mission but the choices and the structure of it are great for how they emphasize the narrative
The Vault (Tholian one) is actually kinda neat and fun, with a little gimmick and general enjoyability
Sphere of Influence has been much improved in the ‘roleplay’ section of piloting another ship (unique abilities for our unique crew help a lot), plus it’s nice to have a ground mission not lean on killing dozens of trash mobs
Finally we reach a point where the adventure zones are actually good. The various space zones are decent, but the ‘recurring events’ format actually worked quite well for it
A separate bonus for the Undine and ground Voth adventure zones and their event focused cycling and rewarding
The Breach does do some good stuff here and there, making the experience actually fun when it isn’t arduous
A Step Between Stars starts the chain of actually good quests, with some neat sections and gimmicks and actual gameplay in level design
Surface Tension serves as a new tutorial for the game, and does a good job of it
Surface Tension is fun, good layering objectives and good usage of unique gimmicks to vary up the combat
The Mindscape mission is easily one of my favorite quests in the game, even gameplay wise, using its conceits in new and creative ways to keep it fun and interesting
Undine Infiltration is actually pretty creative; It’s simple, but it’s still fun and enjoyable to piece together the infiltrators, and leans light on the combat
Viscous Cycle continues the modern trend of good TFOs, with fun targets and enjoyable semi optional mini objectives
The competitive ‘pvp’ TFOs are actually pretty fun…
…both of them
The enemy variety in the game is legitimately excellent, with a huge range of enemies and differing tactics…
…easily earning…
…three positives
Takedown is a great mission, between the layered areas which don’t reload the cell (persisting buffs and the like), calling in different allies with different results, and the final ground battle…
…it earns two positives
The Dust To Dust quest is actually pretty fun, between the lightning, the maze, and the collapsing platforms
Iconian 1 and unique platforming stuff
While it’s not much, the varied up gameplay and different focus of Sunrise is very welcome, and honestly is the type of mission I’d like to see more of
Days of Doom is actually pretty fun. It’s got unique objectives which aren’t irritating, encourages the team to split up and coordinate…
…and is topped off by a fun and enjoyable encounter you defeat through interaction and not just shooting it
Tzenkethi Front is decent overall, back to objective based actions and some neat give and take on offense/defense
The Renegade’s Regret is great, they do exactly what they should do with the ‘roleplay’ system and make the entire experience fun
The Dominion intro gets you into things quickly, tutorializes well, and hands you all you need to jump right into it
Quark’s Lucky Seven and the variety in gameplay and general fun is just… legit
Call me weird but I actually rather like the Tenebris Torquent gameplay; it’s flawed, but they branch out and do more than the typical ‘trash fights’ approach to it
The Pahvo Dissension mission is actually pretty fun, with the chained objectives and decent map design
Beneath The Skin is actually not bad gameplay wise, mixing it up a bit and having some neat little attempts at gameplay
To Hell With Honor actually isn’t bad on the face of it, with the layered objectives and the reward/penalty for rushing the bases
Mycelial Realm isn’t bad either, with real objectives and decent layouts which encourage multiple tactics
Sentinels is quick, rewarding, and fun
The advancing wall of doom while rescuing people in its path during Khitomer Discord was actually pretty clever, unique, and fun
Best Served Cold is when TFOs finally start to come into their own; base holding with dynamic objectives around defeating then protecting transports, and the exploding ships which we have to defeat before the stations get hit…
…earning two positives

Gameplay Negatives:

Bindings and options don’t share (or have the option to) across characters
Co-op issues with dialogue, triggers, and other nuisances
Tailor customization options locked behind in game store
The in game store, as usual, sucks
The way the game locks amazing stuff behind ludicrously overpriced bundles is asinine
The in game lootbox system is bad on so many levels. First there’s the fact that lootboxes exist at all
Then there’s the fact that they shove them into your face as regular loot, despite the fact that you can literally buy them infinitely for free
Then there’s the chat spam (which is admittedly toggleable) that tells you when anyone, anywhere, successfully gets a rare item
Speaking of which, the worthwhile stuff is ludicrously rare, and random
Then we add in the extra layer of predation by making the boxes free but you have to pay for the keys, adding that extra layer of crap
Each box also gives you a very small amount of lobi
Lobi itself is its own issue, as the only (reliable, repeatable) source of lobi in the entire game is the lootboxes
There is a degree of FOMO with regards to ships, consoles, devices, and traits
Vanity shields from lockboxes! Because of course they are
Also, no preview pane so no idea what you’re buying
Sector travel at low level sucks, really really badly, and only avoids more negatives by virtue of the transwarp to quest option
The load times are honestly ridiculous, even after patching everything
The game has the usual audio overlap issue a lot of games have, making it a bit too easy to miss dialogue (and being irritating regardless)
The ‘animations’ of ground combat are, let’s be as blunt as we can here…
…bad, bad, bad, easily two negative territory
There’s quite a bit of audio spam and no real way to avoid it (both in dialogue and in SFX)
The game has no real controls or safeguards over the dilithium in game economy, which has a knock on effect on quite a bit of the rest of the game
There is a fairly substantial lack of information in game on several key aspects of the game
The interface has to be ‘dealt with’ almost constantly… honestly being one of the worst interfaces in general and in an MMO in general…
…leading to two negatives
The grind time on reputation is unacceptable
The grind on procuring marks for the rep items is pretty bad too
The very nature of how Fleets … just… work is entirely too convoluted to the point of ridiculousness
So there’s an extensive problem with how fleets function. First, outside of the obvious social aspect, Fleets are there for Fleet gear first and foremost. Fleet gear costs Fleet CREDITS. You cannot earn Fleet credits, only Fleet MARKS. You then have to toss them into projects with limited basins and other irritating stuff to contribute in order to turn marks into credits. This has… all of the problems with it…
…and honestly giving it only two negatives is just because of how unnecessary fleet gear is
Crafting is arduous, grindy, and mostly vestigial
The entire DOFF system is barely explained and requires either looking things up on the wiki or dropping an obscene amount of in game (or real) money on the good ones for builds
There is a pretty bad early game syndrome going on here, as early combat (both ground and space) is mind numbingly boring
There is a lack of tutorialization and categorization for the massive, massive and extensive builds mechanisms in the game, leading to being lost in the candy store
Defara Adventure Zone. Ill defined quests which have no real feedback and aren’t good to begin with
The Arena of Sompek could be worse, but it’s boring and dull and infinite
The game kicks you from group (disbands it, actually) after leaving an instance
Any issues with instances mean bailing; Any bailing (under any circumstances) means a 30 minute penalty, period
Old Patrols just… sucked, so badly
They were boring, disinteresting, and sloggy…
…and plagued with issues reminiscent of older game design
The Spectres Flickering is honestly awful and literally causes client wide issues
Spectres backtracking
The Spectres nerve tonic puzzle isn’t bad at its core but is just arduous to slog through
Forged In Fire audio spam is above and beyond
Forged In Fire is also really bad about boss padding in health, even if it’s not as bad as it used to be, it’s still bad
The entire ‘forced to occupy Bajor’ quest series is bad, bad, bad. It’s excessively padded, boring as sin, and drags on longer than most entire episodes…
…earning its entirely necessary two negatives
Meanwhile having to deal with the ferengi twit and the swarmers and the shuttle AND the bugs… earns a negative
General audio mixing problems
Severe and multiple softlocking bugs with Boldly They Rode
Borg ground missions suck in general, regardless of the follow up missions which suck even more
The Cure Applied TFO can go straight to hell. It’s long, slow, boring, easy to screw up, has almost no feedback, and can literally bug out
Khitomer In Stasis isn’t bad until you get to the confusing cross team thing which is padding at best and confusing at worst
Exceptionally boring quest design on Nimbus III (very x of y)
Speaking of which the overworld design of Nimbus III is… not good, at best
Boring MMOy quests in New Romulus, on top of honestly pretty bad overworld design
This is in addition to New Romulus having long swaths of boring, bugs and irritations everywhere, and timed events that don’t share credit even across teammates
The Elachi station mission sucks
The Elachi TFO is identical to the mission and therefore… sucks
The Elachi patrols suck
The Elachi ground missions… suck (forced rebreathers in an area where the enemies do tons of status effects and damage)
The Elachi ground TFO sucks…
…and is identical to the mission. But let’s talk about why…
…shuttlecraft suck. They’re just ships. Fast, mobile, but with none of the massive build variety or options you get for ships. So they’re just ships, but… bad. And thus all shuttle missions independently suck
So, why does ground combat suck? Well it contains issues that space combat has, with none of the benefits… no facing to speak of, no variety of weapon arcs, and none of the extensive build gameplay. So it’s just bad…
…and easily worth…
…three negatives by itself
Then we get into targeting, which is some of the worst targeting I’ve ever seen in an mmo, bouncing back and forth between being better to hit tab, another hotkey custom bound, or mouse click depending…
…so targeting…
…is another three negatives
The Vault continues the trend of bad shuttle missions. Aside from the usual problems, the tight vertical space in a game that doesn’t support going up or down, on top of time wasters and irritants, makes the whole thing bleh
Vault Shuttle Event has established a new precedent as the worst MMO dungeon we’ve covered to-date. It’s a shuttle mission, with the verticality mentioned previously in the Vault, with boring trash that respawns, which is an escort mission, which takes forever to repair if you screw up, for an escort that doesn’t dodge anything, while requiring you to kill all enemies to progress, while nothing indicates that whatsoever, while enemies can get bugged and locked inside the terrain…
…thus earning us…
… a triple negative dungeon
The Coliseum mission has a few dozen constant little irritations and bugs to it
Having to redo the New Romulus missions is just whatever on so many levels
…uh, twice. Redoing the missions… twice
So both of these iterations…
…deserve double negatives
And they pull this crap AGAIN later in New Romulus…
…which continues to be awful in every way
Breach has some bad padding issues and it’s still easy to get lost at points (plus the loss of the ‘speed buff’ can screw over players)
Lazy difficulty settings
Audio spam problems return for the Iconian TFOs
Unfortunately the Iconian TFOs in general kinda suck. They tried some gimmicks but these ones didn’t work
The HUD has another problem; lack of feedback. It’s legitimately hard to see buffs and debuffs, both in general and in the field
Miner Instabilities has… some issues. The audio spam is really bad in the early part, the game isn’t clear about splitting up, and the progression triggers are buggy
The game’s in-game chat is… bad. Bad filtering options, bad options in general, bad presentation, just bad…
…worthy of two negatives
Tzenkethi warzone… honestly sucks. The scaling is off, it takes forever to progress and you can lose progress, and it’s barely rewarding (especially in terms of time investment)
Gravity Kills has some great ideas but awful implementation; between the pull issues with certain ship configurations, the literal instant respawning of enemies, the bad placement of hawking particles, just… everything really
The recurring ‘hold the line’ TFO format isn’t ‘bad’ really but it’s over-use drags it into bad territory
The Gamma ‘adventure zone’ sucks. The individual quests are alright but badly scaled and badly balanced and can get boring, fast
Home is one of the most boring missions in quite a while; it’s (literally) kill a bunch of trash, kill a bunch of ground trash, hold the line against ground trash, kill trash, kill ground trash, hold the line against ground trash. That’s… it
The DIS Intro being copy paste of the Fed one (or vice versa) is really lazy
Yet another negative for the continuing reliance upon the same boring one-note hold the line objective
Hold the line, dammit
To Hell With Honor has entirely too many turrets which are entirely too overtuned, and having to kill all the elachi at each step honestly drags it down
The first Measure of Morality quest isn’t… bad, but it has some weird and wonky issues, made worse by being forced to not have our BOFFs, and of course the irritation of the Control fight
The pure RNG bad design of the arena fight of Madran’s deserves its own negative

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